On being 23 and "potentially" employed...

As you can see from my last post, the latter 1/3rd of 2016 really wasn't doing much for me. At the time of writing (late November 2016) I was still over a month away from being offered the job which I hope to take up in a few weeks' time. Just under a fortnight to be precise! I can't really talk about the details, and it's not 100% yet (until I pick up a visa, book some flights, and pass a compulsory training course...) but I'd say I'm about 95% certain that this really is happening!

Springtime, time for new life, and fresh opportunities. 

I'm extremely excited. And anxious. Maybe in equal measures? I've started having the classic anxious dreams about being chased and being lost in the dark etc., so that must mean something. Either way, change is coming.

I've been trying to make the most of the past couple of months by studying (bits of Mandarin, Hindi and Burmese), reading (a lot) and continuing my water colour paintings! I feel like I'm moving forwards now, although finding temporary work at home has proven really frustrating, despite signing with an agency I've only been given 2 days of work in about 3 months. I've almost completely stopped tutoring for now, as I prepare to go away again.

I'm pretty pleased with this photo! Having flowers around really brightens my mood, and reminds me of the power of patience - you can't force a flower to bloom at your convenience, and if it is not looked after, it will never bear fruit. 

I can't wait for a new adventure, with new routines, people and places. These past few months I've felt quite "stuck" at points, as if I'd stopped growing as a person, and couldn't find much to really be engaged with, as I wasn't really getting on that well with work, yet I was still waiting, and overcoming one obstacle after another to try and land this next job!

Anyway, onto my last point; there's a new blog. On Wordpress again (I know, I know, this was just another shameless plug after all, but Blogger just hasn't kept pace with Wordpress in terms of design features and online community). This new blog won't focus on any particular trip abroad (as has usually been the case) but will be a platform for all of my thoughts on Travel, Education and Personal Development in general. That way, every time I go somewhere else, it won't mean having to do all of the set-up and customising all over again! Plus I might actually gain some more regular followers!

I have to admit, another reason that I'm deliberately starting up a wide-ranging blog is so that I can keep at it whatever happens in the next couple of weeks. I've realised slightly too late that I've really missed blogging as an antidote to uncertain times, and I'm now too busy to launch myself into one time-limited project!

Without further ado -->  New blog link!

Dream

So, we all have dreams don't we? Funnily enough, although we dream at night, most of our true dreams are things that we carry around during the day, in our thoughts, and in my case this is definitely true - I'd spent the whole week, throughout driving lessons (somewhat distracting!), working, even trips to the cinema (!) thinking about Results day, and what it could possibly mean for me and my friends, but mostly, I must confess, what it would mean for my own future.

Well, there's no doubt that yesterday was one of the most dramatic days of my life, I'd gone to bed at 1 in the morning, and kept waking up, woke up properly at about 6 and had about 1/2 an hour's sleep when my friend rings me to tell me that UCAS track has updated online!

About 5 minutes later, I find out something incredible.

My place at university had been confirmed.

Now, I had no idea of my grades, but after that point I didn't really care, I just kept logging on and off to check that I wasn't still dreaming, having been sleep deprived for several days! The day, however, just got better, my sister got ABCC in her AS results, despite only being predicted BCC, my friends all got into their first or second choice universities, or were able to find spaces at very good universities (University of East Anglia for example) through Clearing within an hour or so. AND, my final grades were A*A*A :o well over what I needed to get in - AAA.

It was incredible, I'm talking; champagne, photos, crying, laughing, lunch AND dinner out, about a million phone calls and a great evening with my friends and family. Seriously, seeing my teachers happy and my family proud was the best thing ever, and yesterday was without a doubt one of the best days of my life. Being able to talk about university without using the word "if" in the same sentence is fantastic, and even better is being able to get excited about the direction my life is going in for the next 3 years, it makes years of hard work and pressure really worth it.

So, the moral of the story is, if you have a dream, work hard and don't let go. Yes, you'll spend some days crying, and some days smiling, you'll have moments of satisfaction and despair (my lowest grade was ironically in History, after an exam paper that had me very worried for 8 weeks! But I got my A and that's all that counts :D). It'll be worth it all, I promise you, being able to look back over the past 4 years or so and have no major regrets is a great feeling. I think several people in my year realised a little too late that working a bit harder, putting in the extra effort and never giving up might have made a real difference to their results.

People might look at someone with As and A*s and think they're a genius, which could be true, but it mostly likely isn't. I know I could have never achieved those grades without solid hard work, and an average of 10 hours of revision a day in the peak of my exams, not even counting the months of coursework and revision leading up to that! I chose to make academia my life, and everyone else must choose what they wish to do with their own life, and, as long as it's their own choice then they've made a good decision, I'd say.

Would I do all of that work over again to get where I am today? Of course!

When will I get my A-level results? What is the weather like here? Is there life on other planets? Read on to find out the answer to two of these three very important questions...

If only I had something more interesting to write about, than the fact that it's 4 days until I get my A2 results, and time has never gone so slowly! But I don't. Recently here the weather has improved (well, until tomorrow that is) and so I've been making the most of bing outside! I can't believe that the London 2012 Olympics is nearly over, after all of the preparation, hype, build up and then the spectacular event itself! It has proved me with a great distraction these last two weeks :p. Hayfever aside, I really love the summer, being able to wear nicer clothes (summer clothes are so much more attractive than practical winter clothes!), go out when I want, generally do what I want...it's a good life, though sometimes I do miss the routine of school.

The image above (another one of my creations on Polyvore) includes classic summer images, and a floral-themed outfit, complete with a matching clutch! I think my favourite part about it is the use of gold frames and the peachy-pink coloured blossom and flowers, it's a very romantic look, and it really shows up the summer sunlight filtering through the pictures, which is just perfect for a dreamy summer afternoon :)

Rose-tinted heaven

Rose-tinted heaven

Found some of my old polyvore images from earlier in the year that I never got to publish on here, despite it being close to 1 'o' clock in the morning, I thought - why not? I need a good old clear out of my drafts, or "ghost posts" as I prefer to call them. Here are some creations that I never found the words for.

It's not procrastination; it's a higher form of planning.

So, the last week has been pretty standard, in fact, nothing much has happened except that I visited my old first school, for their final assembly (the school is closing at the end of this term to be re-opened with my old middle school as a combined school) to give out an award to a little boy who has made some amazing academic progress! Bless, his mum looked so happy when he won his award, as did all of the children, who didn't really realise the significance of the assembly, but did very much like the look of the prizes!

Time moves much too quickly, just 10 years ago that would have been me, sitting cross-legged on the floor, eager-eyed and staring up at the teachers at the front of the hall! It feels as much like yesterday as it does a whole lifetime ago. The building was still so familiar, although much of the decoration itself has been changed, improved, updated, and I even got to speak again to some staff who had known me when I was 4!

To disorientate myself further, with my work I was showing some foreign students around the city where my Firm university choice is. It was a good day out (I love the city, obviously, otherwise I would not have made the university there my firm choice!) but also, by association, it was a little angsty, I just want my results now so that I know whether I'll ever get to live there or not! Strange, knowing that I might well live there for 3 years, but I might well not visit again for another 10 years, if I don't get in, because I can't bear to see it again if I'm rejected, it'll be too raw.

There you have it. I feel completely in limbo :/ within 48 hours I revisited memories of my first school days, and then walked around the city that, by October, may well be my new university home. However, at the moment I am unfortunately stuck somewhere between archaic memories and distant hopes for the future, which can only be solidified by my results on the 16th of August. Until then, I fear, I am completely lost at sea.

28.04.12

  by nikigirl on polyvore.com

Well, the April showers have continued, and here we are a week later...I wish I had something more interesting to report, but aside from preparing for exams, schoolwork, and hearing people complain about the weather, this week has not been that eventful. Not that that's a bad thing, necessarily, but there you have it. I created this image ages ago, and for some reason having gotten around to publishing it before now, I think I've just had it saved somewhere and forgot about it. I hope that how my memory works, you know, during an exam when you can't remember something but then it appears really randomly, as if it's been "saved" somewhere, just waiting for the right thought to trigger it.

I think one of my favourite quotes that I have come across this week is by Mary Waldrop, she says;

"It's important that people know what you stand for. It's equally important that they know what you won't stand for."

I think for me this is a definite target, I have a horrible habit of saying yes to things, usually work, or something someone else wants, just for the sake of keeping peace. Although helping people constantly is a good thing, and let's people know that you stand for kindness and helpfulness, I think that there is definitely a time and a place to say no, otherwise you end up with nothing left for yourself!

Another quote I found (Einstein's extension of Parkinson's Law) is one that I'm writing up simply because it describes my life so well at the moment; "A work project expands to fill the space avaliable", it's the same with my revision for the next 6 weeks, it's not about getting a certain amount of revision done, it's about filling all the avaliable space I can with revision, and subsequently re-remembering and learning things constantly, rather than sitting down and saying "I have to do 5 hours a day" or something.

Wish me luck.

Music is a moral law.

Music is a moral law.

Music has also been described as "the art of thinking with sounds", which I'd argue is accurate for some songs, but much less for others!

So, I've had another good week off school, spending way too much money, restaurants, clubs, clothes, that sort of thing, going out with friends and doing everything except revise properly, which I WILL start in earnest later today. Or maybe tomorrow ;)...NO, definitely today. I promise.

Anyway, it seems my last half-term at school has almost arrived 0.0, I know, when did that happen? It's something I'm strangely apathetic about, actually. It's as if, I should be sad or worried, but actually, although I will be upset on the "last day" of school and everything, at the moment I just want this term over with, so I can do my exams and start summer. Which is an entirely irrational thought, considering how much revision I still have to do, but there it is, my mind is as illogical as ever.

100 years since the Titanic hit that fateful iceberg tonight. I'm sure I'll be watching some of the memorial on television, but the problem I find with things that happened around 100 years ago is that they don't seem real yet. I say "yet", because things that happened say 300 years ago, like the French Revolution, that seems real, and things that happened around 10 years ago, like September the 11th, I remember that, but for some reason a century is just the wrong amount of time for me to imagine, it's like it's just out of living memory and hasn't quite made it's way into history yet. Maybe that's just me. Anyway. I'll be thinking about that this evening, although I can't promise that the whole sentimenality of the event won't be slightly overshadowed by my sadness that Leonardo di Caprio dies in the film, which is historically inaccurate anyway...

Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

by nikigirl on polyvore.com

Only 10 weeks left at school. Slightly disorientating considering I've been in school the last 12/13 years, and can't really remember not being at school. Scary times. Anyway, I thought this image was relevant to this week, it's Spring-like, floral, and has a kind of natural beauty, so it suits upcoming events like Mother's Day this sunday. This week wasn't too bad :p

Next week I'm going to Ireland! I keep forgetting :s which is bad, because it's a foreign country, and I'm getting a plane, and I have to pack...and get some euros (I'm going to Dublin, so the Republic of Ireland), I am excited though (when I remember that I'm actually going :)

Sorry for the short post, but I'm tired (it's been a long week/ I was out late last night for one of my friend's 18th's) and as you can see, I have a lot to organise! Happy St.Patrick's day for tomorrow everyone, and make sure your mum has a nice Mother's Day!

Keep Calm and Dream On

Keep Calm and Dream On by nikigirl

:)

Got an A* on my Extended Project! Pretty happy, it means that all of that work was really worth it! Half way through the (academic) year I considered dropping my Extended Project, or at least radically re-designing it, but obviously now I'm glad I didn't, and it serves as a good reminder of the reward of projects carried through, despite whatever reservations you have about them.

Once again the theme "Keep calm and carry on" appears in this image, among some of my other favourite things (Emma Watson, blossom, Paris, fruit, the colour white) because at the moment I feel a LOT of anxiety about the future :/ I worry about passing my driving test, getting 3As to fufil my university entry requirements, coursework, going on holiday for the first time abroad, with my friends, without parents (!) and even stupid things, like going clubbing for the first time, (I just don't know what to expect. My family want to go away in May, when I have my exams, leaving me to look after the house and my little sister by myself (because I'll be 18 then).....I'm just so freaked out by the enormity of life at the moment.

Rant over. I guess I just feel really anxious at the moment. I'll stop now. Time to take some advice from my own art work and just take it one day at a time. Here I go.

And sometimes...dreams really do come true!

This is me by nikigirl

What an insane week! Times really do change - and quickly - only 4 days until Christmas! Anyway, now that the holiday season is in full swing it's made me really how much I've really achieved this year, and how happy I am of all the work I've done. Although we are perfectly entitled to anticipate the year ahead, let's not forget the year just passed, whether that be mistakes to learn from or achievements to be proud of!

This is a giant collaboration grid showing images of all the things I love, essentially it's the one image I'd like people to look at if they were to get a really good idea of who I am - it's basically an extended version of a collage I did some months back (http://notesfromadaydreambeliever.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2011-08-27T00:14:00-07:00&max-results=10), but obviously more up-to-date, as our perceptions of ourselves are different on a daily basis, and naturally they change dramatically over time.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I'm the happiest I've been in a long time, and that's something worth celebrating - let alone the fact that Christmas/ New Year are just around the corner! Bring on the festivities! :)

Day Dreamer

Day Dreamer by nikigirl

I may see in colour, but I still dream in black & white.

Can you miss being somewhere before you've even left?

The term nostalgia describes a yearning for the past, often in idealized form.

Sometimes I want to live in the past, literally.

A cup of tea never fails to calm me....

A cup of tea never fails to calm me.... by nikigirl

I really, really love this image. I didn't even plan/ think about it, I just obsess over this shade of blue, so I put some objects of that colour together with some text and photos of an attractive model and voila, with a couple of effects and ever-present butterflies it actually turned out nice, one of my favourites I think.

Don't judge me by the fact that I'm posting so late :) I have A LOT to do at the moment, we're talking all kinds of coursework, homework, interview prep, driving lessons...wait....yes....I did just say it - INTERVIEW PREP!

Now of course I'm extremely excited at the prospect of an interview, and the free food/ accomodation (and I mean accomodation of the brilliant, beautiful, neo-classic/ gothic kind) but what makes me more anxious is the idea that I'll have to miss 4 days of revision before the mocks. And still have to do the work......all of those lessons I'll miss! (Not to mention my mum's 50th birthday :/)

Can't be helped, but I really am a busy little bee at the moment, and will be for the next 10 days, and then it's mock exams, and then the terrible waiting begins afresh! Oh my life....never mind, in one month it'll be Christmas again and all will be good in the world (how quickly it comes round!)

The good old American dream...

Did I mention I like vintage? That's a clue if you somehow didn't see the number of old stamps I incorporated into this image, and I think the entire flowers-in-vase on a wooden table is retro, like really like Van Gough or something... I know the flowers look nice but I hope you think that the positioning of the stamps to give a kind of depth works, that's what I was aiming for :)

Random cat-like image :) I didn't think about it when I made it but it actually reminds me of Hallow'een? I think it's the black cat and then the orange tints in the background, although I did put a lot of flowers in to make it more summery! I'm on holiday from school right now which seems to have added a definite lighter tone to my work...wonder how long this will last...

Admitedly I didn't make any of these images, just thought they looked nice together :), I don't know, they sort of flow? Anyway, the point is they represent change, as in the seasons, the passage of time. For me this week has really put this into perspective (that word again!), I can't believe it's mid-march already....and yet that makes me want it to be summer now?

Don't mind me, just wishing my life away...

A nice, random collage, as it's the holidays, and so the resurrection of my creativity after last term's exams temporarily killed it...for the time being anyway, until I get bored, which is unlikely as I just found a stash of old "vintage stamp" images I have saved on my computer!

As why for all of the little animals....I have no idea, they just looked good and then I turned it into a kind of theme.

More on Spain. This time, the Botanical Gardens of Marimutra in Blanes are the focus of this picture, using more photos I took myself of the stunning sea views and bright flowers, it was like a Kew-Gardens-on-the-sea type place. Photography heaven!

Something borrowed, something blue, something urban, something new! Here's my work for today, originally I had a massive image of an entire brick wall with a park bench & everything, but then I decided to crop it to focus in on the butterfly and all the pattern work - looks good?

P.S, the "real" photographed flowers were taken by me in Kew gardens, haven't even looked at them since the end of my G.C.S.E year 10 project!

I am determined to update daily whilst I can! Today's work is a tropical image, full of colour, which takes full advantage of the layer-style design of GIMP.

The parrot and flower stock were taken from deviantART - thanks to everyone, including the author of the tutorial I followed, starlight86!

I can count about 4 birthdays in July without even trying. Make that 5. This is shown in my next design, as I don't know how many birthday cards I've brought in the last week :) Here's to all the parties and fun.