On going into Second Year / my advice for Fresher's - ROUND TWO!

I'm moving back to university today and in the next week I'll be helping to run the events for all of the new freshers! Seems like only a minute ago that I was the one packing up to leave home for the first time. In retrospect, I think that I had expectations for Fresher's week having to be the "best week ever/of my life", which were far too high.

 

Despite this, I'm really looking forward to being able to return to university with a sense of routine and orientation, which to be honest, took most of the first year for me to find. In my defence, in total I only spent 25 weeks at university for my first year! So, as I'm able to live through the experience of Fresher's week again, I thought I'd summarise some advice for Freshers this year. This advice isn't just for Fresher's week (which is already over for most universities) but the entire first year of a degree.

So, the first few weeks, and even the first year of university is sold as being like this:




 
In all seriousness, you will probably have some nights a bit like this, potentially many nights like this. However, this can't last forever, sooner or later your bank balance (or your stomach) will give out, and you'll be forced to talk to people in a place where talking can actually be heard, and where you can actually make out their appearence...
 
In addition, if you don't want to go out every night, or at all, just don't. There will always be people who aren't going out that night, just find them and organise an alternative activity, a movie night, a food-themed night, a pub, a cinema.
 
Just to add, my best week of first year was not Fresher's. In fact, it was my last term, when I really felt like I'd got to know people. Yeah, that's right, sentimental, meaningful friendships do exist at university, even if the first few weeks just feel like random groups of people are just clinging to each other out of desperation. Which some probably are.
 

Don't do anything because other people tell you to/ imply you should. This might be drinking, this might be going out, this might be other stuff. Even "we're all going to X's flat, join us!", if you don't feel like going, don't. Equally though, there are times when you should try and meet new people/ do new things in general.

 

This is usually a better idea if a) you're at least moderately sober, or b) there are at least 2 other people you already know going to that event/person's place. Let's be real, whenever you go to an event with just one other person you know, they always end up disappearing, or worse, getting so drunk that your evening ends up being filled with looking after them.

 

PS, do NOT be that annoying drunk person who cannot handle their drink, yet chooses to do it anyway. Once is forgivable (especially in Fresher's) but after that you won't get off so lightly, AND you'll have a reputation for being that person.

 

 

If you get lost, stuck with something, or even forget someone's name, now is the time to ask.

 

For my first few weeks I struggled with using the washing machines, tumble dryers, and the phones we have in our rooms. Everyone did. It was only at the beginning of our second term that we realised there was a little heater-thing in our shower!

 

Even when you meet your tutors, and you're scared of looking stupid, ask questions about how many hours of work you should do a day, what are the expectations for assignments, where are the best resources to be found etc. Later you'll be thankful for that information, and you can bet some of the "ghost" (i.e. never-says-a-word-or-contributes) students in your study group will be happy that you asked a question they were also thinking, but didn't have the courage to ask!

 

Oh, and if you don't know someone's name, even after a few weeks, just ask it. Seriously, there's nothing more awkward than knowing someone for months and still not quite knowing their name, or thinking they're called something else. There will come a time when you will be left alone with them, and then the realisation that you don't know their name, with no one to gesture to, will become apparent.

 

 

Ok, so you've left home, you've posed with photos of your flatmates and there are pictures of your uni room of Facebook. You are an adult now.
 
However, some of the best nights of your university time may still be spent inside, watching classic Disney DVDs, or eating cereal in the middle of the day. Don't deny it.
 
I think 2 of the hardest things to accept about first year are that;
 
1. You still have a long way to go. Those days when you are literally forcing yourself to do work? Check. Those days when a tiny part of you considers leaving, even if for only a fraction of a second? Check. Those days when you want to cry because the work is too hard/ too much/ you're scared other people don't really like you yet? Check. It's tough, and all part of behaving like an adult that you deal with the challenges thrown at you.
 
2. Leading on from there, 1st year is not always a picnic. People have definitely mentioned to me that they found 2nd year easier in general. You know people, you know places, you know coping strategies. Don't be upset if everyone on Facebook seem to be having the perfect university experience, surrounded by friends and parties. You're not there, and you just don't know the half.
 
Focus on yourself, and, without seeming hedonistic, take each day as it comes. A new society? Might be cool. Someone approached you in a library? Maybe you should get coffee with them.
 
 
Who know what you'll be saying and writing about in a year's time, when it's your turn to give advice to the next generation of Freshers. 
 Enjoy.
 

Why helping at a college open day is actually a microcosm of modern life...

Main quad, view from cloisters. Worcester college, Oxford.

Working on college (as in, my college at university) open days is always a humbling experience. It reminds everyone of their own intial explorations in Oxford, of the wonder of the setting and surroundings, and that lingering feeling that their time in Oxford might only ever be confined to a dream.

I've worked on various open days this summer, for the History department and the college. 99% of people are enthusiastic, happy, excited and have a fantastic, if busy, day in Oxford. However, I'm going to do something that people in Oxford hate; I'm going to talk about the "1%".

The 1% are the tiny minority of people who make me uncomfortable on open days. Although I'll treat then identically to all other guests, as politeness dictates, something inside me feels uneasy. I'll answer their questions, laugh awkwardly at their jokes, and walk around with them as I do with the other 99% of people, who are, by comparison, sadly anonymous.

I think the worst behaviour I saw (and by this I refer to the conduct of grown adults) was the parents who spoke non-stop on behalf of their children, to which the children would object, but they'd continue nonetheless. I think some people may have even had the idea that I could influence the admissions process in some way (of course I can't, I'm a current student!) as they sought to remind me of the great qualities and abilities their children possessed. Some parents would directly compare the relative strengthes and weaknesses of their different children in front of student helpers. Some prospective students insisted that they didn't have to worry about interview preparation, as so many people from their school had already been accepted into Oxford in previous years.

I am describing this for no other reason than to point out that all of the above paragraph is completely ridiculous, which is why I'm going on about it here. Current students DO NOT take part in the admissions decision-making process. Extra-curricular activity IS NOT part of the application process to any Oxford college. Whether your father/grandfather went to Oxford, or if, in fact, no one in your family has ever been to any university before you (like me) IS NOT relevant to those making decisions regarding admissions. Frankly, student helpers on open days do not want to hear about it. It's not making you look any better than anyone else, and obviously the only person intimidated is yourself, otherwise why would you even bother listing your own achievements? (I sense an inferiority complex...)

By the way, when I say "1%" I don't just mean people from well-off backgrounds, or people who might come from a certain social demographic or part of the country. The "1%" in this sense is the name I'm giving to all those people who make a fool of themselves on open days, due to ignorance about the Oxford application process. Hopefully, through continuing Outreach & Access events, and general awareness (perhaps even promoted by this post?) people will soon realise that Oxford is a diverse and constantly changing place. What was true of the admissions process, even one generation ago, or 30 years ago, is not true now.

Rant over. Like I said, 99% of the people, families, students, teachers, I meet on open days are lovely, genuinely interested and sincere people. Another section of the 1% is the 1 or 2 students who clearly don't want to be at the open day in the first place, but have been heavily "encouraged" by their parents/ guardians/ teachers. If you're reading this, then please bear in mind that Oxford is a real place. It's not a fantasy dream world, which people might paint it to be, it's hard work to keep up with term-time assignments, though I'm not saying that they can't be rewarding to complete, and that I'm not counting down the days until 2nd year starts!

Seriously though - and this goes for all prospective university students at this time of year - make UCAS choices based on where YOU want to go, to do the course YOU want to do. In the long run, you can live with having to go to somewhere that you'll enjoy, and temporarily "disappoint" your parents. Your parents may not be as sad as you think to see you making some well-informed, independent decisions! Do this rather than trying to persevere for 3 years or more at an institution that doesn't suit your learning style or interests.

Persuading people that Worcester college could suit their interests is my job on open days. Well actually, my job is to give a realistic and accurate description of college life, and then it's up to the potential applicants to decide whether it'd suit them. However, 26 acres of college grounds, including a lake, an orchard and the lawn on which the first ever frisbee was supposed to have been thrown (what do you mean we can't prove it?) makes my job a lot easier. It also reminds me of why I'm so happy to live there, which can become obscured sometimes, especially mid-way through terms, by work and stress.

The open days were full of some really poignant moments for me (not to mention giving me the chance to catch up with people in my year who I hadn't seen for months!).

1. Some alumni were back for the annual Alumni weekend in Oxford. Whilst we were in the cloisters, handing out leaflets, course guides and the college prospectus I noticed two older men were skimming a copy of the 2013 prospectus. "It's all changed" said one man to the other. "Bet's it's tougher...", said the second man, "don't think I'd get in here now". Perhaps they were right.

    2. On the bus home I found that I was sitting next to another Oxford history student. Another  Oxford history student who'd also just finished helping at her own college open day. She's in the year above me. This was great, because it was like being able to speak to my future self, and ask for advice on module choices/ the general routine of second year. As everyone does in Oxford, we found mutual connections and experiences to talk about, and I slowly realised just how much serendipity was involved in this meeting. I was talking to someone who had gone to the same Grammar school as I was supposed to have, before I failed the 11+. At the time, failing that exam had honestly felt like the end of the world, but now, somehow, me and this former Grammar school student had ended up in the same place, at the same time. I guess that's testimony to the secondary school I attended, and the merits of individual effort over everything.

And I wasn't even supposed to be getting that bus...

Experience: it's gained in retrospect.

 

I'm back! Back after a 2 month-blogging-break, and first term at university!

I was right, by the way, about having limited time whilst at university. I think my decision not to blog during term-time was a good call, I've kind of missed it, but in a weird way, seeing as I've been living at a mile a minute, it's only now that I can really sit back and reflect on an incredible 8 weeks.

I've been to concerts; talks, lectures delivered by people who wrote my course books, comedy nights (too funny to forget), cocktail nights (too good to remember clearly - just kidding! I only had two :P) and even a carol concert in the college chapel! Not to mention the standard clubbing nights, or the multitude of nights in which "staying in [college]"was actually the beginning of a great night out (in somebody else's building/ staircase party!)

University life is exactly what I hoped and worked for. No, it isn't - it's better. I feel as though I've learnt so much - and not merely in an academic sense - although I've also read approximately 100 books and journal articles!

Contrary to popular (read: media) expectations though, student life for me (I can't answer for my friends at other universities...) is not restricted to a week-long alcohol-fuelled party, with an assignment on the side, perhaps. Oh no.

I have without a doubt worked the hardest that I have ever worked in my life this past term. I'm talking everyday (well, except those 3 days at the end of term when I only had meetings to attend, seeing as I spent some of my Fresher's week beginning work, I got to do some Christmas shopping!) and for around 6 hours a day. Seriously, not including library runs across town, lectures, classes etc. But I live for it, - that's another thing I've learnt from the past term - I couldn't have it any other way. Maybe then, it's a good thing that where I am we're made to work constantly, we're reminded that that's what we're there for. And ultimately, £9,000 a year would be a very expensive party!

So, all of this work, all of this "play", where does that leave me? Well, I'll tell you. Though I may have been preoccupied with work whilst I was physically at university (the irony!) I can now tell you that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and in the last few days at home I have indeed been missing university life (and, admittedly, the independence and freedom that comes with it) which I think is mark of just how much perspective/ friends/ knowledge experience I've gained over the past 2 months.

 

Not all those who wander are lost;

I'm leaving. I leave home in around 3 days time, and I'll be leaving this blog for about 2 months (e.g., the duration of my first term). That might seem weird, but I'm really going to be cutting down the amount of time I spend on the internet when I'm at university, firstly, because I won't have time, (work, new friends(?), societies, clubs, volunterring(!), and learning to live away from home!) and secondly because this blog reminds me of being at home and anticipating university, even as far back as my post-GCSE summer. Now I'm actually going to the university I always wanted to, I want to really live my life there, rather than through this blog.

However - this is not goodbye! I will be updating at the end of every term, which, to be fair, is still every 8 weeks, after all, I can't see myself completely giving up something that's given my such a great creative outlet these past 2 years. This blog has been a bit of fun to me, I've updated it fairly regularly with pictures I've made and photos I've taken. I don't talk about politics, or even my opinions on things in particular, I do talk about my life, but I'd like to think that I haven't given away too much information about myself!

I've loved having somewhere to post anything, especially random thoughts and pictures which probably don't make sense, which act as tiny vignettes (Google it) of the past 2 and 1/4 years! I apologise at how boring some of the posts must be for other people to read, but to me they act as a straight line from the recent past to where I am today, and for that I'm happy, proud even. For once.

Next week I'll begin again, as I did once upon a time with this blog, except instead of the virtual world, with it's limitless possibilities and millions of people, it'll be the real me that steps out afresh, into pastures new, and a world in which the surroundings, people and daily timetable are different. Perhaps then, as far as "limitless possibilites" are concerned, my new university life will not be so different from the internet. Perhaps. For that reason then, or that freedom should I say, I'm not afraid, in fact, I'm excited!

“Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”
― Carl Bard

Don't wait for me. I'll be back soon.

The Sea/ Farewell Summer

I probably won't see the sea or a beach until next summer...:(

Can no longer deny that summer is well and truly over. Not only is the good weather gone, but my friends are beginning to move into their university halls, as of tomorrow - good luck to them! As for myself, having ridiculously short terms means that I won't be moving out for another three weeks, which is annoying, as I'm now impatient to start (I've been away from school for nearly 4 months,!) and my friends are all leaving town.

However, the last few days have given my the chance to pause, whilst buying uni stuff (which I could leave until later, but I'd rather do now :p) and remember all of the great times I've had since my exams finished. Although I may be bored now, I think the break from such intense studying was a good idea, as I'm now interested, motivated and ready to throw myself back into full-time learning again.

This summer hasn't just been a waiting period between two stages of my life, it's given me a chance to properly relax, earn a little bit of money, travel, and do all of the nonsense that I don't allow myself time for in term-time. (You never don't have the time for something, you simply choose whether or not you're going to prioritise it with the time that you do have, in my opinion).

In recent times I've re-visited my past (went to my school's Awards evening, met up to say last goodbyes to people leaving this week, and will probably do the same next week) and got a glimpse into my future (went to my university town to get some stuff yesterday, and some more scholarship information arrived today!) but most importantly I've learnt to enjoy the present, and what's left of my time at home.

I'm still counting the days though...less than three week's until Fresher's!

 

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-19421257

I don't usually post about random news stories, but this one really got to me. Normally, I read articles online, and take an average of around 5-10 minutes to click on something else, move on, and forget about it. However, something really affected me about this tragedy, I don't know if it's because; I was thinking about the concept of "YOLO" again,  because I'm thinking about moving into the next stage of my life (university) or whether the sense of human loss and complete injustice is just so obvious after reading it.

Clearly, once several moments had past and I had time to concerntrate I began to think about what a horrible, horrible shock this must have been, not just to those who witnessed the event, but to the parents and family of this young woman, whose life was ended so quickly, and without any kind of explanation, other than perhaps an inexorable fate. May she rest in peace.

It's not nice to think that perhaps the way that you will die has been decided since the day you were born, is it? I suppose that depends to what extent you believe in pre-determinism and stuff though. Either way, this has kind of been a wake up call for me, I've spent the last few days going out for the occasional dinner, going to the theatre, but doing nothing much productive, now however, I feel motivated to have a proper sort through all of my stuff in preparation to leave home in a month, and after that I'm going to start packing to go away for a couple of days.

After all, who knows how much time I have left, or any of us, for that matter.

“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”
― Francis Scott Fitzgerald,  The Great Gatsby

Happy Easter 2012!

Cherry Blossom

Thought that I'd do something different this time and attached a photo I took myself of the trees outside the front of my house, which look great at the moment, but will only last for a couple of days...

The photo captures a moment, the same blossoms in this picture have probably fallen off the tree and died by now. Not to be pessimistic,but just to point out that nothing lasts forever, and that nothing seems as good as it was, or as it is remembered.

Equally though, the best things in life are not things, or at least, not in the material sense. I'm not even sure the best things in life are moments, to be honest. Feelings are a more accurate description, I think the best moments in life are defined by the feelings we attach to them, rather than the events themselves, therefore buying an ice cream or getting a new job or getting the exam result we wanted can all be linked due to the feeling we get from it.

Although, just for the record, I prefer the "I-just-got-the-exams-results-I-wanted" to the "I-just-brought-an-ice cream" feeling, but I do love ice cream :p

I think this rant is my mind subconsciously telling me to get back to revision, and re-focus on the long-term benefit that this will have...when I actually do something...

"The amateur practises until he gets it right; the professional until he never gets it wrong".

100th post! Here's to 100 more!

So at times life can seem difficult, stressful and downright depressing....but it can also be rewarding to those who are willing to put themselves out there.

Yeah, there will be set backs, there will be the bad times, the sad times and all the rest of it, but really what you have to do is look at everything long-term, but at the same time, live for that day - crazy isn't it?

Basically what I'm trying to say is that looking back on the last 100 posts of this blog has really made me think, whatever did or did not happen I've achieved a lot and I have things to show for it. This gives me a lot of hope in what promises to be a very work-intensive 6 months up ahead, but one day I'll look back on all of this work, and I'll be proud.

But I'll never forget where I started from.

On a less philosophical note, I have another university offer and I am really excited about this one, as in I could actually end up going there and living there for 3 years of my life! I still have 2 more places to wait on, but having things like this - university offers I mean - it really gives me something to work towards, to be happy about, and ultimately it makes sure that I don't lose focus, I'm so close now I can't break down over school work again...so instead I've planned the next week to include a combination of evenings out, fun with friends, a firework display and some happy time on Polyvore - here's to the next week!

Day dreaming again. Can't believe that;

a) it's my last year at school

b) it's almost halfway through the year

c) on my next birthday, I will be 18

Where has my life gone?.... time seems to be going so quickly recently!

Must have been too busy day-dreaming, instead of writing my personal statement draft, or doing some sort of productive work, as usual...

 

"Oh what can it mean? For a day-dream believer and a home -coming queen....."

Admitedly I didn't make any of these images, just thought they looked nice together :), I don't know, they sort of flow? Anyway, the point is they represent change, as in the seasons, the passage of time. For me this week has really put this into perspective (that word again!), I can't believe it's mid-march already....and yet that makes me want it to be summer now?

Don't mind me, just wishing my life away...

This day will only come once every thousand years...and yet everyday in our lifetime only happens once.

Did you know Photobucket has a "vintage photography" section? Seeing those images reminded me of my trip to Paris a few years ago, and so I have created something in a similar style. I took all of the photos, except the 1964 image of a Parish street (top centre -I wasn't alive then) and changed the more modern ones into black and white to create my collage.