Not all those who wander are lost;

I'm leaving. I leave home in around 3 days time, and I'll be leaving this blog for about 2 months (e.g., the duration of my first term). That might seem weird, but I'm really going to be cutting down the amount of time I spend on the internet when I'm at university, firstly, because I won't have time, (work, new friends(?), societies, clubs, volunterring(!), and learning to live away from home!) and secondly because this blog reminds me of being at home and anticipating university, even as far back as my post-GCSE summer. Now I'm actually going to the university I always wanted to, I want to really live my life there, rather than through this blog.

However - this is not goodbye! I will be updating at the end of every term, which, to be fair, is still every 8 weeks, after all, I can't see myself completely giving up something that's given my such a great creative outlet these past 2 years. This blog has been a bit of fun to me, I've updated it fairly regularly with pictures I've made and photos I've taken. I don't talk about politics, or even my opinions on things in particular, I do talk about my life, but I'd like to think that I haven't given away too much information about myself!

I've loved having somewhere to post anything, especially random thoughts and pictures which probably don't make sense, which act as tiny vignettes (Google it) of the past 2 and 1/4 years! I apologise at how boring some of the posts must be for other people to read, but to me they act as a straight line from the recent past to where I am today, and for that I'm happy, proud even. For once.

Next week I'll begin again, as I did once upon a time with this blog, except instead of the virtual world, with it's limitless possibilities and millions of people, it'll be the real me that steps out afresh, into pastures new, and a world in which the surroundings, people and daily timetable are different. Perhaps then, as far as "limitless possibilites" are concerned, my new university life will not be so different from the internet. Perhaps. For that reason then, or that freedom should I say, I'm not afraid, in fact, I'm excited!

“Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”
― Carl Bard

Don't wait for me. I'll be back soon.

Dream

So, we all have dreams don't we? Funnily enough, although we dream at night, most of our true dreams are things that we carry around during the day, in our thoughts, and in my case this is definitely true - I'd spent the whole week, throughout driving lessons (somewhat distracting!), working, even trips to the cinema (!) thinking about Results day, and what it could possibly mean for me and my friends, but mostly, I must confess, what it would mean for my own future.

Well, there's no doubt that yesterday was one of the most dramatic days of my life, I'd gone to bed at 1 in the morning, and kept waking up, woke up properly at about 6 and had about 1/2 an hour's sleep when my friend rings me to tell me that UCAS track has updated online!

About 5 minutes later, I find out something incredible.

My place at university had been confirmed.

Now, I had no idea of my grades, but after that point I didn't really care, I just kept logging on and off to check that I wasn't still dreaming, having been sleep deprived for several days! The day, however, just got better, my sister got ABCC in her AS results, despite only being predicted BCC, my friends all got into their first or second choice universities, or were able to find spaces at very good universities (University of East Anglia for example) through Clearing within an hour or so. AND, my final grades were A*A*A :o well over what I needed to get in - AAA.

It was incredible, I'm talking; champagne, photos, crying, laughing, lunch AND dinner out, about a million phone calls and a great evening with my friends and family. Seriously, seeing my teachers happy and my family proud was the best thing ever, and yesterday was without a doubt one of the best days of my life. Being able to talk about university without using the word "if" in the same sentence is fantastic, and even better is being able to get excited about the direction my life is going in for the next 3 years, it makes years of hard work and pressure really worth it.

So, the moral of the story is, if you have a dream, work hard and don't let go. Yes, you'll spend some days crying, and some days smiling, you'll have moments of satisfaction and despair (my lowest grade was ironically in History, after an exam paper that had me very worried for 8 weeks! But I got my A and that's all that counts :D). It'll be worth it all, I promise you, being able to look back over the past 4 years or so and have no major regrets is a great feeling. I think several people in my year realised a little too late that working a bit harder, putting in the extra effort and never giving up might have made a real difference to their results.

People might look at someone with As and A*s and think they're a genius, which could be true, but it mostly likely isn't. I know I could have never achieved those grades without solid hard work, and an average of 10 hours of revision a day in the peak of my exams, not even counting the months of coursework and revision leading up to that! I chose to make academia my life, and everyone else must choose what they wish to do with their own life, and, as long as it's their own choice then they've made a good decision, I'd say.

Would I do all of that work over again to get where I am today? Of course!

Keep Calm and Dream On

Keep Calm and Dream On by nikigirl

:)

Got an A* on my Extended Project! Pretty happy, it means that all of that work was really worth it! Half way through the (academic) year I considered dropping my Extended Project, or at least radically re-designing it, but obviously now I'm glad I didn't, and it serves as a good reminder of the reward of projects carried through, despite whatever reservations you have about them.

Once again the theme "Keep calm and carry on" appears in this image, among some of my other favourite things (Emma Watson, blossom, Paris, fruit, the colour white) because at the moment I feel a LOT of anxiety about the future :/ I worry about passing my driving test, getting 3As to fufil my university entry requirements, coursework, going on holiday for the first time abroad, with my friends, without parents (!) and even stupid things, like going clubbing for the first time, (I just don't know what to expect. My family want to go away in May, when I have my exams, leaving me to look after the house and my little sister by myself (because I'll be 18 then).....I'm just so freaked out by the enormity of life at the moment.

Rant over. I guess I just feel really anxious at the moment. I'll stop now. Time to take some advice from my own art work and just take it one day at a time. Here I go.

Day Dreamer

Day Dreamer by nikigirl

I may see in colour, but I still dream in black & white.

Can you miss being somewhere before you've even left?

The term nostalgia describes a yearning for the past, often in idealized form.

Sometimes I want to live in the past, literally.

Sorry for my apparent recent obsession with black & white, it'll stop soon, I promise, I just love the style, and by coincidence all of the images I got the ideas for were quite "old world" looking.

This montage is based on a strange dream I had, sort of like Alice in Wonderland, but slightly darker - and so I created this based on that, and the fact that I'm just liking the slightly gothic stuff at the moment, most of my previous work (on the last page under "Older posts") was really bright, I swear!

"We're all mad here" ;D

An extremely late post :) sorry, it's been a busy day. Which is alright though as it fits the theme of this image, "dream time" as I've called it, amazing it also fits in with the fact that I randomly saw the film Inception today and so if you know what I'm talking about - it all links!

At the moment it's summer, and being a post-GCSE student I have the whole of July & August to relax, and half of June too! This design is based around the theme of "Rest" and is one of my most popular images on Polyvore - but it's not one of my favourites to be honest.