When will I get my A-level results? What is the weather like here? Is there life on other planets? Read on to find out the answer to two of these three very important questions...

If only I had something more interesting to write about, than the fact that it's 4 days until I get my A2 results, and time has never gone so slowly! But I don't. Recently here the weather has improved (well, until tomorrow that is) and so I've been making the most of bing outside! I can't believe that the London 2012 Olympics is nearly over, after all of the preparation, hype, build up and then the spectacular event itself! It has proved me with a great distraction these last two weeks :p. Hayfever aside, I really love the summer, being able to wear nicer clothes (summer clothes are so much more attractive than practical winter clothes!), go out when I want, generally do what I want...it's a good life, though sometimes I do miss the routine of school.

The image above (another one of my creations on Polyvore) includes classic summer images, and a floral-themed outfit, complete with a matching clutch! I think my favourite part about it is the use of gold frames and the peachy-pink coloured blossom and flowers, it's a very romantic look, and it really shows up the summer sunlight filtering through the pictures, which is just perfect for a dreamy summer afternoon :)

It's not procrastination; it's a higher form of planning.

So, the last week has been pretty standard, in fact, nothing much has happened except that I visited my old first school, for their final assembly (the school is closing at the end of this term to be re-opened with my old middle school as a combined school) to give out an award to a little boy who has made some amazing academic progress! Bless, his mum looked so happy when he won his award, as did all of the children, who didn't really realise the significance of the assembly, but did very much like the look of the prizes!

Time moves much too quickly, just 10 years ago that would have been me, sitting cross-legged on the floor, eager-eyed and staring up at the teachers at the front of the hall! It feels as much like yesterday as it does a whole lifetime ago. The building was still so familiar, although much of the decoration itself has been changed, improved, updated, and I even got to speak again to some staff who had known me when I was 4!

To disorientate myself further, with my work I was showing some foreign students around the city where my Firm university choice is. It was a good day out (I love the city, obviously, otherwise I would not have made the university there my firm choice!) but also, by association, it was a little angsty, I just want my results now so that I know whether I'll ever get to live there or not! Strange, knowing that I might well live there for 3 years, but I might well not visit again for another 10 years, if I don't get in, because I can't bear to see it again if I'm rejected, it'll be too raw.

There you have it. I feel completely in limbo :/ within 48 hours I revisited memories of my first school days, and then walked around the city that, by October, may well be my new university home. However, at the moment I am unfortunately stuck somewhere between archaic memories and distant hopes for the future, which can only be solidified by my results on the 16th of August. Until then, I fear, I am completely lost at sea.

2 Years Later...

My most recent Polyvore design

2 Years ago today I started this blog, beginning with images (coincidentally, images that I started using when I first opened my Polyvore account, at around the same time) from my GCSE Art and Design course. It started as a blog about art, concerning the creation of different types of artwork that I'd learnt about, but now my blog is much more about myself, somehow, and how this increasingly is shown through my art.

So basically, where as the the art did all the talking previously, now I do the talking, and the art is simply a more visual explanation for my thoughts.

I'd like to think that I've learnt a lot, since that 16 year old, bored after GCSEs (although admittedly I am very bored after leaving school, and genuinely cannot wait to get my results, go to university and start learning again, but that's just me I think) who had little direction in life other than some mediocre artwork and a random blog. Not that the art has really improved dramatically, although it has evolved somewhat (I primarily use Polyvore rather than GIMP to make images, and rather than photo manipulation I tend to use internet images and "arrange" them into bigger pieces rather than create the components themselves from scratch if you know what I mean).

This post is a pretty big milestone then, certainly, I know there are much older blogs around, but as far as Blogspot is concerned, the average lifespan of a blog seems to be under 2 years, so I think it's an achievement that I have continued to update this, if only for its consistency rather than for any extraordinary content, after all I'm not trying to change the world, I just want some way to record the things that I do and that I find interesting, I'm not fussed about having 100s of followers, although of course I like the idea that at least someone is reading what I write.

At this point I'd like to thank my actual followers (currently at around 15 I think?) for putting up with this nonsense, in the hope that they find something (if only occasionally) worth reading on here. As a side note, I have had over 3,900 views on this blog, which is far more than if I had decided to never publish it!

So here we are, I'm not world famous, I'm not a celebrated blogger or by any means a talented artist, I'm not a budding author or even an exceptional writer, but I am I believe, much closer than I was 2 years ago to finding myself, though if there's one thing I can be accused of, it's forgetting the past in favour of obsessing over the future, as opposed to say, living in the moment. (Ironic for a potential History student, right?)

For example, I tend to forget or overlook the things I've already achieved, the work I've done, however small, and instead I worry about what the future holds, where will my life go next etc. (to be fair, until I get my A2 results I don't even know where I'm going to be living in 2 months!) This however, is no way to live, there needs to be more of a balance I think, between positive reflection and active (but not anxious) anticipation of the future. That can be my target for the next year, until this blog's next milestone ;)

Maroon 5's song Payphone actually sums up the above scenario pretty well;

"You turned your back on tomorrow
Cause you forgot yesterday..."

The only way to the future is to remind ourselves of the best parts of the past -

"Who controls the past, controls the future: who controls the present controls the past"

- George Orwell, 1984

Who would have thought Maroon 5 and George Orwell would ever have belonged in the same sentence? Only on this blog!

A tree, a real life representation of Carl Jung's tree of self actualization....just kidding -

(A photograph I took on a shady walkway in Calpe, Alicante, if this picture is rotated it makes a really nice desktop background!)

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful.Times are hard for dreamers.

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful.

This week has been randomly hard for some reason, I don't know why, everything has just felt like it's taking more and more effort to do the things that I would normally do anyway. Strange. Anyway, it's the end of the week now so I'm going to start completely fresh tomorrow, "a new leaf" as it were, and that goes for revision too :s

However, in a strange kind of way, time is on my side. 46 days until my exams end, so that's a month and 2 weeks, just long enough to really focus on revision, but the end is definitely in sight, if you see what I mean, school doesn't feel endless anymore, and I know that soon my life will be completely different. That's motivation enough I guess, only 46 more days of waking up and feeling guility every minute that I'm not studying, and to be honest, I started revising in March, so around 68 days ago, so I've officially done more revision than I have left to do (if that makes sense!)...

So this collage, it has all the usual in it (well, usual for me) icons of Paris, pink, cupcakes, tea cups, flowers, blossom, pink, books, some slightly vintage looking things and...the pocket watch in the top left hand corner. I think the watch is important, it shows that things don't go on indefinitely (revision :( ) and serves as a reminder that "come what may, time and hour run through the roughest day".

There you are, that's a very appropriate quote from Macbeth, and therefore I have successfully found a way to intergrate revision and blogging :D

Happy Easter 2012!

Cherry Blossom

Thought that I'd do something different this time and attached a photo I took myself of the trees outside the front of my house, which look great at the moment, but will only last for a couple of days...

The photo captures a moment, the same blossoms in this picture have probably fallen off the tree and died by now. Not to be pessimistic,but just to point out that nothing lasts forever, and that nothing seems as good as it was, or as it is remembered.

Equally though, the best things in life are not things, or at least, not in the material sense. I'm not even sure the best things in life are moments, to be honest. Feelings are a more accurate description, I think the best moments in life are defined by the feelings we attach to them, rather than the events themselves, therefore buying an ice cream or getting a new job or getting the exam result we wanted can all be linked due to the feeling we get from it.

Although, just for the record, I prefer the "I-just-got-the-exams-results-I-wanted" to the "I-just-brought-an-ice cream" feeling, but I do love ice cream :p

I think this rant is my mind subconsciously telling me to get back to revision, and re-focus on the long-term benefit that this will have...when I actually do something...

"The amateur practises until he gets it right; the professional until he never gets it wrong".

Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

by nikigirl on polyvore.com

Only 10 weeks left at school. Slightly disorientating considering I've been in school the last 12/13 years, and can't really remember not being at school. Scary times. Anyway, I thought this image was relevant to this week, it's Spring-like, floral, and has a kind of natural beauty, so it suits upcoming events like Mother's Day this sunday. This week wasn't too bad :p

Next week I'm going to Ireland! I keep forgetting :s which is bad, because it's a foreign country, and I'm getting a plane, and I have to pack...and get some euros (I'm going to Dublin, so the Republic of Ireland), I am excited though (when I remember that I'm actually going :)

Sorry for the short post, but I'm tired (it's been a long week/ I was out late last night for one of my friend's 18th's) and as you can see, I have a lot to organise! Happy St.Patrick's day for tomorrow everyone, and make sure your mum has a nice Mother's Day!

Keep Calm and Dream On

Keep Calm and Dream On by nikigirl

:)

Got an A* on my Extended Project! Pretty happy, it means that all of that work was really worth it! Half way through the (academic) year I considered dropping my Extended Project, or at least radically re-designing it, but obviously now I'm glad I didn't, and it serves as a good reminder of the reward of projects carried through, despite whatever reservations you have about them.

Once again the theme "Keep calm and carry on" appears in this image, among some of my other favourite things (Emma Watson, blossom, Paris, fruit, the colour white) because at the moment I feel a LOT of anxiety about the future :/ I worry about passing my driving test, getting 3As to fufil my university entry requirements, coursework, going on holiday for the first time abroad, with my friends, without parents (!) and even stupid things, like going clubbing for the first time, (I just don't know what to expect. My family want to go away in May, when I have my exams, leaving me to look after the house and my little sister by myself (because I'll be 18 then).....I'm just so freaked out by the enormity of life at the moment.

Rant over. I guess I just feel really anxious at the moment. I'll stop now. Time to take some advice from my own art work and just take it one day at a time. Here I go.

Reflection

Reflection by nikigirl

Friday the 13th! Unlucky for some but I've been lucky enough to have a pretty good day so far; in terms of school and home so here's to hoping the weekend is good too! (Although by default it WILL be good just because I don't have to get up at 7/ do any serious schoolwork :P)

First week back at school always makes me reflect on things a lot. You'd think the last week of term would have inspired the same, but I was too busy thinking about exams to really consider anything else. Instead, as I said, this week I realisied that time is moving away from me, faster than ever - only 12 school weeks left until I go on study leave and leave school forever! That's incredible considering all the weeks that went into the 7 years I've been at secondary school, not to mention the 7 years of schooling I had previous to that!

I calculated. *If* I get into the university I want to go to I only have 262 days left until my first day there, so that's;

22,636,800 seconds
377,280 minutes
6288 hours
37 weeks (rounded down)

Approximately! The crazy thing is, only 12 of those weeks include school, the rest is all studyleave/ holiday! Presuming I move into uni the weekend before Fresher's week - that's only 260 days left living at home! :O

Anyway, back to the present, this is where I must learn to live, one day at a time rather than in the past or the future - do you like the image? I deliberately included loads of symbols representing the passing of time, the hourglass, the pocket watch, the blossoms, the birds and even the girl...and then I added a couple of bows and a vintage photograph effect just because ;)

Enjoy the weekend!

And sometimes...dreams really do come true!

This is me by nikigirl

What an insane week! Times really do change - and quickly - only 4 days until Christmas! Anyway, now that the holiday season is in full swing it's made me really how much I've really achieved this year, and how happy I am of all the work I've done. Although we are perfectly entitled to anticipate the year ahead, let's not forget the year just passed, whether that be mistakes to learn from or achievements to be proud of!

This is a giant collaboration grid showing images of all the things I love, essentially it's the one image I'd like people to look at if they were to get a really good idea of who I am - it's basically an extended version of a collage I did some months back (http://notesfromadaydreambeliever.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2011-08-27T00:14:00-07:00&max-results=10), but obviously more up-to-date, as our perceptions of ourselves are different on a daily basis, and naturally they change dramatically over time.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I'm the happiest I've been in a long time, and that's something worth celebrating - let alone the fact that Christmas/ New Year are just around the corner! Bring on the festivities! :)

Day Dreamer

Day Dreamer by nikigirl

I may see in colour, but I still dream in black & white.

Can you miss being somewhere before you've even left?

The term nostalgia describes a yearning for the past, often in idealized form.

Sometimes I want to live in the past, literally.

Pride and Prejudice

Pride and Prejudice by nikigirl on polyvore.com

Looked out the window in the rain, had the idea for this one, each of the window panes show an individual scene and then in between the gaps you can see the original outside scene of a beautiful blossoming tree...

I can count about 4 birthdays in July without even trying. Make that 5. This is shown in my next design, as I don't know how many birthday cards I've brought in the last week :) Here's to all the parties and fun.