Rose-tinted heaven

Rose-tinted heaven

Found some of my old polyvore images from earlier in the year that I never got to publish on here, despite it being close to 1 'o' clock in the morning, I thought - why not? I need a good old clear out of my drafts, or "ghost posts" as I prefer to call them. Here are some creations that I never found the words for.

2 Years Later...

My most recent Polyvore design

2 Years ago today I started this blog, beginning with images (coincidentally, images that I started using when I first opened my Polyvore account, at around the same time) from my GCSE Art and Design course. It started as a blog about art, concerning the creation of different types of artwork that I'd learnt about, but now my blog is much more about myself, somehow, and how this increasingly is shown through my art.

So basically, where as the the art did all the talking previously, now I do the talking, and the art is simply a more visual explanation for my thoughts.

I'd like to think that I've learnt a lot, since that 16 year old, bored after GCSEs (although admittedly I am very bored after leaving school, and genuinely cannot wait to get my results, go to university and start learning again, but that's just me I think) who had little direction in life other than some mediocre artwork and a random blog. Not that the art has really improved dramatically, although it has evolved somewhat (I primarily use Polyvore rather than GIMP to make images, and rather than photo manipulation I tend to use internet images and "arrange" them into bigger pieces rather than create the components themselves from scratch if you know what I mean).

This post is a pretty big milestone then, certainly, I know there are much older blogs around, but as far as Blogspot is concerned, the average lifespan of a blog seems to be under 2 years, so I think it's an achievement that I have continued to update this, if only for its consistency rather than for any extraordinary content, after all I'm not trying to change the world, I just want some way to record the things that I do and that I find interesting, I'm not fussed about having 100s of followers, although of course I like the idea that at least someone is reading what I write.

At this point I'd like to thank my actual followers (currently at around 15 I think?) for putting up with this nonsense, in the hope that they find something (if only occasionally) worth reading on here. As a side note, I have had over 3,900 views on this blog, which is far more than if I had decided to never publish it!

So here we are, I'm not world famous, I'm not a celebrated blogger or by any means a talented artist, I'm not a budding author or even an exceptional writer, but I am I believe, much closer than I was 2 years ago to finding myself, though if there's one thing I can be accused of, it's forgetting the past in favour of obsessing over the future, as opposed to say, living in the moment. (Ironic for a potential History student, right?)

For example, I tend to forget or overlook the things I've already achieved, the work I've done, however small, and instead I worry about what the future holds, where will my life go next etc. (to be fair, until I get my A2 results I don't even know where I'm going to be living in 2 months!) This however, is no way to live, there needs to be more of a balance I think, between positive reflection and active (but not anxious) anticipation of the future. That can be my target for the next year, until this blog's next milestone ;)

Maroon 5's song Payphone actually sums up the above scenario pretty well;

"You turned your back on tomorrow
Cause you forgot yesterday..."

The only way to the future is to remind ourselves of the best parts of the past -

"Who controls the past, controls the future: who controls the present controls the past"

- George Orwell, 1984

Who would have thought Maroon 5 and George Orwell would ever have belonged in the same sentence? Only on this blog!

A tree, a real life representation of Carl Jung's tree of self actualization....just kidding -

(A photograph I took on a shady walkway in Calpe, Alicante, if this picture is rotated it makes a really nice desktop background!)

Music is a moral law.

Music is a moral law.

Music has also been described as "the art of thinking with sounds", which I'd argue is accurate for some songs, but much less for others!

So, I've had another good week off school, spending way too much money, restaurants, clubs, clothes, that sort of thing, going out with friends and doing everything except revise properly, which I WILL start in earnest later today. Or maybe tomorrow ;)...NO, definitely today. I promise.

Anyway, it seems my last half-term at school has almost arrived 0.0, I know, when did that happen? It's something I'm strangely apathetic about, actually. It's as if, I should be sad or worried, but actually, although I will be upset on the "last day" of school and everything, at the moment I just want this term over with, so I can do my exams and start summer. Which is an entirely irrational thought, considering how much revision I still have to do, but there it is, my mind is as illogical as ever.

100 years since the Titanic hit that fateful iceberg tonight. I'm sure I'll be watching some of the memorial on television, but the problem I find with things that happened around 100 years ago is that they don't seem real yet. I say "yet", because things that happened say 300 years ago, like the French Revolution, that seems real, and things that happened around 10 years ago, like September the 11th, I remember that, but for some reason a century is just the wrong amount of time for me to imagine, it's like it's just out of living memory and hasn't quite made it's way into history yet. Maybe that's just me. Anyway. I'll be thinking about that this evening, although I can't promise that the whole sentimenality of the event won't be slightly overshadowed by my sadness that Leonardo di Caprio dies in the film, which is historically inaccurate anyway...

Memories

Memories

I really like photos of people not looking at the camera, especially if they're looking into the distance, or taken from an interesting angle...I also have an obsession with putting clocks in the background of everything, and overlaying virtually every image I make with some sort of book/ photo montage?

The words "World", "adventure", and "travel" are also particularly relevant as I've just booked my summer holiday! A nice week somewhere sunny with a load of my closest friends - just what I need after finishing my final exams - and a great way to start what I hope will be a great summer :)

I also like putting mis-match frames around the different images, makes the whole thing look a lot less mainstream ;)

Speaking of summer, I've also paid for my end-of-school prom (!) which is only a few months away, which seems insane considering I can still remember my Year 11 prom so clearly...so I guess the title of this post may be "Memories" (well, it suits the image!) but really at the moment I'm focused a lot more on the future; which isn't always a bad thing.

Reflection

Reflection by nikigirl

Friday the 13th! Unlucky for some but I've been lucky enough to have a pretty good day so far; in terms of school and home so here's to hoping the weekend is good too! (Although by default it WILL be good just because I don't have to get up at 7/ do any serious schoolwork :P)

First week back at school always makes me reflect on things a lot. You'd think the last week of term would have inspired the same, but I was too busy thinking about exams to really consider anything else. Instead, as I said, this week I realisied that time is moving away from me, faster than ever - only 12 school weeks left until I go on study leave and leave school forever! That's incredible considering all the weeks that went into the 7 years I've been at secondary school, not to mention the 7 years of schooling I had previous to that!

I calculated. *If* I get into the university I want to go to I only have 262 days left until my first day there, so that's;

22,636,800 seconds
377,280 minutes
6288 hours
37 weeks (rounded down)

Approximately! The crazy thing is, only 12 of those weeks include school, the rest is all studyleave/ holiday! Presuming I move into uni the weekend before Fresher's week - that's only 260 days left living at home! :O

Anyway, back to the present, this is where I must learn to live, one day at a time rather than in the past or the future - do you like the image? I deliberately included loads of symbols representing the passing of time, the hourglass, the pocket watch, the blossoms, the birds and even the girl...and then I added a couple of bows and a vintage photograph effect just because ;)

Enjoy the weekend!

And sometimes...dreams really do come true!

This is me by nikigirl

What an insane week! Times really do change - and quickly - only 4 days until Christmas! Anyway, now that the holiday season is in full swing it's made me really how much I've really achieved this year, and how happy I am of all the work I've done. Although we are perfectly entitled to anticipate the year ahead, let's not forget the year just passed, whether that be mistakes to learn from or achievements to be proud of!

This is a giant collaboration grid showing images of all the things I love, essentially it's the one image I'd like people to look at if they were to get a really good idea of who I am - it's basically an extended version of a collage I did some months back (http://notesfromadaydreambeliever.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2011-08-27T00:14:00-07:00&max-results=10), but obviously more up-to-date, as our perceptions of ourselves are different on a daily basis, and naturally they change dramatically over time.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I'm the happiest I've been in a long time, and that's something worth celebrating - let alone the fact that Christmas/ New Year are just around the corner! Bring on the festivities! :)

Pride and Prejudice

Pride and Prejudice by nikigirl on polyvore.com

Autumn Days

So my life at the moment is pretty much a waiting game. It's like the moment you reach a roundabout, and you're looking in both directions to see if you can move forwards, and the seconds of looking around, at everything, everywhere, seem to take an age. And then you go too slowly and stall. Or maybe that's just my terrible driving!

Still waiting on 2 universities, one of them will get back to me in about 14 days (not that I'm counting, but I am) and the other could take up to 2 1/2 months - or at least they have done, in the past. It seems I'm in need of a bit more patience, but it is difficult to acquire these days. I feel as if I'm living in a hurried sort of present, the sort that looks forward constantly, never quite managing to live in the moment but always straining, trying, desperately to look into what is still a very unknown future.

How very sombre. In other news the sun is shining here and I expect it might well be the warmest November on record - not that I'm complaining, it's great, makes all of the waiting and anticipation, this limbo, a bit more bearable...

Autumn Days by nikigirl on polyvore.com

Tea, and other such Time

No point lying, I'm so much more into Polyvore instead of GIMP right now as far as image-editing and composing is concern which is really strange considering I actually joined Polyvore 2 years ago and only really started using it now... such is life, I suppose.

In other news, this week has been a continuation of stressful driving lessons, homework and coursework deadlines combined with the fact that I'm still waiting to hear back from universities, my mock A2s are in a month oh, and my job no longer exists so I have virtually no disposable income :(

Bad times indeed. BUT, I must remember the tone of my last post, and remain positive - things can't stay this way forever, the only thing that stays the same is that things always change! Although I titled this image "Tea time" I'd like to now draw inspiration from W.H.Auden;

But all the clocks in the city,

Began to whirr and chime:

'O let not Time deceive you,

You cannot conquer Time.


Today of course, time has a particularly special significance, not only is the date 11.11.11 but it's also Remberance Day, so let us not only remember those that fell in service of their country, but also those that were left to remember, especially during those first few Armstice Days when happiness to some, would have seemed like a different era, a lifetime away, a mere memory...