20 Things To Do Before You're 20

So there's been this article circulating on my Facebook newsfeed for some days now,"23 Things To Do Instead Of Getting Engaged Before You’re 23". Bare in mind that my Facebook is mainly populated by 18-21 year old people, and so this article has been re-posted, which is kind of awkward because some people on my Facebook are both engaged, and under the age of 23. Even the article itself, on the original blog (posted below) has triggered a huge war-of-words in the comments section.

From the blog Wander Onwards; http://wanderonwards.com/


Naturally, the main people commenting seem to be women who got engaged under or at the age of 23, and who are speaking about how they don't regret this life choice. The opposition seems to consist mainly of other women, who agree with the premise of the article. However, when I looked at the "to-do" list of the article itself, a couple of items struck me as unnecessary, or pretty childish behaviour for a 23 year old. As a result, I've produced an edited version.

"23 Things To Do Instead Of Getting Engaged Before You’re 23" (the article can be found at http://wanderonwards.com/2013/12/30/23-things-to-do-instead-of-getting-engaged-before-youre-23/)

1. Get a passport. - I agree with this. One of my friends was 18 and had never had a passport, and so as well as a load of paperwork he had to be interviewed in person to answer questions about himself and prove his own identity, which I can imagine was a bizarre and time-consuming experience.
 

2. Find your “thing." - Vague, but I agree with the idea, see below for more specific suggestions.
 

3. Make out with a stranger. Personal preference, obviously, but I'd rather not. Haven't you ever seen films when the "stranger" turns out to be someone you meet in the next few days, usually in a situation which involves you working for them?
 

4. Adopt a pet. - Fair enough, if you have the time and money, and are not living in university halls, why not.
 

5. Start a band. - If you want to.
 

6. Make a cake. Make a second cake. Have your cake and eat it too.- Fine, let them eat cake, but I'm surprised this made someone's top "23 things to do before you're 23" list. I mean, can't you do this before or after you're aged 23?
 

7. Get a tattoo. It’s more permanent than a marriage. - Isn't this exactly why you shouldn't rush into this? Personally I wouldn't, laser removal is expensive, and my tastes of what does and doesn't look good seem to change year on year at the moment. Even my clothes aren't the same style, and you can shed them easier than skin.
 

8. Explore a new religion. - this sounds fair enough. Although for those who don't feel inclined towards any religion, I'd supplement a kind of spirituality-based meditation.
 

9. Start a small business.- This could be cool. For an easier target, hold a car-boot sale (yard sale) and raise money by selling your unwanted, but still usable goods. Or sell lemonade from a stall outside your house.Think big.
 

10.Cut your hair.- I get my hair cut regularly, but I presume this means cut it yourself? Well, I cut my fringe myself, that can count.
 

11. Date two people at once and see how long it takes to blow up in your face. - great idea, I'm sure hurting people deliberately (hey, if they question it just show them this list you're working through...) is a fantastic way to get through life. Oh, wait, you'd hate it if this were role-reversal, and you were the one being cheated on for the sake of "experimenting".
 

12. Build something with your hands.- Fair enough. Though I'm counting myself out of this one. The last thing I attempted to make with my hands was a wooden box in which all of the edges are not straight, nor are they even.
 

13. Accomplish a Pinterest project. - I agree with the sentiment of this, but there's so many more options - see below.
 

14. Join the Peace Corps. - only applicable if you're an American citizen.
 

15. Disappoint your parents. - Again, why aim to hurt people intentionally? Part of growing up is learning how to deal with people you've disappointed, and believe me, you'll disappoint your parents, whether that's by running away from home, drinking too much, or just forgetting to do the hovering, is up to you. Just don't set out to do it, it's far less forgivable.
 

16. Watch GIRLS, over and over again. - Ok, so I don't know what this is. Maybe this one is fine. Then again, maybe not. Why should I watch whole seasons of actors pretending to live lives which in reality even they don't lead, when in reality I could be pursuing a real, unscripted life of my own?
 

17. Eat a jar of Nutella in one sitting. - I am not opposed to Nutella.
 

18. Make strangers feel uncomfortable in public places. - Why? Do you like being uncomfortable in public places? Strange suggestion.
 

19. Sign up for CrossFit. - Again, I don't know what this is. Substitute with something from the list below.
 

20. Hangout naked in front of a window. - This is illegal in some countries. Also, there could be children inside? How do you know who's window it is?
 

21. Write your feelings down in a blog. - Guilty as charged. See all around.
 

22. Be selfish. - Or, attempt to be a decent person. See volunteering suggestions below.
 

23. Come with me to the Philippines for Chinese New Year. - Ok, I'm not being very fair here, this is clearly something personal relating to the blog author, but I won't be taking up the suggestion, regardless.

Here are my own substitutes for the above list...

 

1. Volunteer close to where you live.

There's a community project, a library, a school, there's something, somewhere near you that you could be a part of, and really gain from the experience too. Volunteering can offer the chance to learn new skills, understand more about yourself, and the way that you interact with other people (e.g. what motivates you? How are other people motivated?) as well as the feeling that you've benefitted the lives of other people whilst helping yourself. In addition, volunteering in your home town is a good idea before you're 20 - because who knows where you'll choose to live after that! Here's a tool for those of you in the UK looking for something local.
http://vinspired.com/

 

There's also this site, which is an easy way to make a massive difference to a child's life. Plus you don't even have to leave your house (well, except to post the letter you write...) http://www.postpals.co.uk/ 

 

 

2. Attempt to gain some of work experience in another country, or at least, an area that you are unfamiliar with.
So this is good for some of the same reasons as the above, but in a new environment you'll be able to realise the cultural differences. From just a slightly different regional accent, or food preference in another area of your country, to a new continent, language and mainstream religion, go as far as you are able to (admittedly you'll probably have to save up before you go abroad for any length of time to work...)

My blog about interning in Washington D.C, last summer; http://nikitagoestotheothersideofthepond.blogspot.co.uk/

 

My sister's blog, on volunteering to teach English in Thailand;

http://openmyjournal.blogspot.co.uk/

 

 

3. Learn something in another language. You've probably done a language to GCSE level, many years ago. You could try to resurrect that, or learn something completely "out there" like Japanese. Mandarin is also becoming increasingly useful for those considering careers in finance, business and banking.

 

 

4. Start an artistic presence for yourself. This could be offline, like a journal, scrapbook, or a collage. Or it could be online. No, not those party photos on Facebook or those filtered photos you proudly post to Instagram. Start a Blog, or get a Polyvore or Pininterest or Tumblr account. These things are genuinely creative, with the scope to do something really original, or at least personal. Personally, I like the ability to draft and publish things in Polyvore, see http://nikigirl.polyvore.com/

 

5. Do something that 5 years ago you would have never considered doing - AND that you won't be able to do in 5 year's time.
 

Right, so I don't mean anything reckless or anything you think will make you seem more adult (if you're thinking that as you do something, it generally doesn't work, I've found). I mean something like stand for a position in a society you're part of, or take over running a group that you've attended for years. Run to stand as a council representative for your class/college/club. Something that shows that you recognise how much you've changed as a person.

 6. Write a list of questions for your future self;
 

- Where do you want to be living in 5 years time? Which country? What kind of house?

- What job would you like to be doing in 5 years time?

- Do you think you'll have any pets in 5 years time?

- What's your favourite colour at the moment?

- and your favourite type of food? etc.

In 5 years time, look back, laugh, write a corrected version (i.e, what actually happened) and then start again, maybe for another 10 year's time.

 

7. Get a pen/e-pal.

You don't have to move from in front of your computer, or your desk. It's a way to find out about how another person experiences and perceives life, at your own pace. It can also be a way of specifically learning about another culture or language. Plus it means that if you travel, you don't feel completely alone, if you know that your pen/e-pal is out there, somewhere on the same continent as you, even if you've never met.

 

 

8. Earn money in a minimum-wage job.
 

Be a papergirl/boy, or a waitress/waiter, or a tea-lady/ tea man(?), a cleaner, work behind a till in a shop. Or maybe even a lab technician, if you're feeling adventurous. Just see what it's like to work in a job that people rely on, but don't always respect as much as they should. It's not all about the big guys.

 

 

9. Study hard for a test and submit something before a deadline.

Then compare to a time that you handed in something late, or something you know was not your best work. You'll notice the difference, and so will your tutor. Now you know the worth of doing something well, and the justified pride it can bring, you're more likely to be more organised in the future, and if not, you'll understand what you missed out on.

 

10. Cook at least one meal from raw ingredients, potentially to share.

Note; beans on toast does not count. I'm still working on this one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The term that was

Thought that I better get round to publishing this, this side of the New Year!

Ok, I'll admit, I'm lucky enough to live somewhere where everyday looks like the front of a postcard.

 

I love living somewhere where the seasons change. Where you can mark the passage of time in all of the things you see each day, trees, a lake, an orchard. Strange to think I'll never get last year back again, when it was my first term, and everything seemed so new, so exciting, but also so daunting. I don't miss that at all. Going back to college this year felt like going "home", rather than to some strange, exotic, unknowable place.

This is the face of a Pumpkin Champion. No joke, me and my friends actually won the college pumpkin-carving contest with him. For three days or so it glared out of our kitchen window, just to brighten people's nights.

Forget the fancy dinners, evenings out and Christmas parties. One of my favourite things about the last term has been living on a corridor with a kitchen (we didn't have kitchens in our first year!). It's made so much difference to the social-ness of my day. I think we all benefit from having breakfast together, even if the conversation means take twice as long as it does for us to prepare and eat the food!

 

How I thought last term would be...

So just to be clear, I thought this term might be slightly challenging. For once, this wasn't due to the work, but the fact that I was trying to balance a couple of time-consuming extra-curricular activities, AND eat, AND sleep. I suppose I also allocate a fair amount of time to seeing people...you can't live the life of a hermit-crab throughout your university years!

So I thought I knew what I was getting into. I'd even written the amount of hours that I expected each activity to take (per week) on a scrap of paper, just to check that it was physically possible.

I was wrong.

I guess in the end I forgot to factor in several important variables;

1. As term goes on you need more sleep to continue, fact.
2. Unexpected social events, e.g. Bonfire night, people's birthdays, charity events, pop up every week or so (ok, not Bonfire night, but the others, yes) and they are always very, very tempting.
3. You never quite get through your work as efficiently as you plan too... (I handed in 1 piece of work late this term, and all of the others were literally on their deadlines. I am writing this in public to shame myself into not doing that again...)
4. The good old "can you help me out" dilemma, in which people you know need "just a couple of hours" of your help in running an event, returning library books, buying the communal Christmas presents for the staff you work with etc. This always takes more time than expected, and you don't tend to think about these things in advance as they're beyond your control.

How last term actually felt...

 

Stuff I was trying to balance;

- work (ok, so we get set a lot of work. I try to work around 6 hours a day when I'm at uni)
- the obvious, eating, sleeping, social life
- being on the Student Council for my college (helping to run events, meetings both council-only and college-wide)
- being Student Union represent for the college (going to extra meetings outside of college, keeping up with university-wide elections)
- being a Sub-editor for one of the major student newspapers
- volunteering with a group of local school students, as part of the university's Access & Outreach programme

In addition, I also helped with Fresher's Week (see last post) and stayed behind a week after term officially ended, to help out with the candidates called to interview.

I mean, I don't regret any of it. University is the time to try new things, and learn stuff when they don't all work out. Plus, this is the advantage of 1st & 2nd year, if a single piece of work is late throughout the entire term, the world won't end (or if it does, it's a coincidence). I doubt I'll be doing Fresher's Week or the Interview period again (they're linked to the fact that I was elected to the Student Council for this year) but they were a fantastic opportunity to welcome new students into the College, and something very few students get to take part in.

In addition, I'm not doing the Sub-editing again next term, last term the editing deadline clashed with my essay deadline every week, and I felt my eyes turning physically square after reading all of the copy, then having to come home to my half-finished essay. This also resulted in some very late nights, and in all honesty I can't say that I've produced my best work this term, due to all of this extra stuff on the side-lines, competing for my attention.

Now I'm home and I can evaluate things, and appreciate all that I did, too. It's been great to get home and rest up a bit, when I was in college I was constantly running from one activity to the next, snacking as I went because I'd missed some of the conventional meal times. When I wasn't running I was trying desperately to cram work.

Yet, the stuff I did last term has added so much to my experience of life. I'm better at reading, editing, grammar-fixing, time organisation and being able to condense lengthy material. Not to mention, I have my name at the bottom of all of last term's newspapers, which is a bit of an ego-boost! Next term I think I'll aim to do a little bit less, and maybe a few more different things too. I think I might help out at some local museum events, because I loved my time working in the Navy Yard museum in D.C, and I'm living in a city which has to have the most museums outside of London, I'd say. Volunteering remains the most satisfying thing I do with my time outside of studying, and it'll probably always be that way, even if it's stressful at times.

My advice for all university students....

1. Try new things, outside of studying, could be useful for future, could just be for fun. Or potentially both...
2. Try and plan for these new activities, and see how many hours they'll take up a week, which nights are the most suitable etc.
3. Realise that trying to plan all of this stuff, and account for the unexpected, is impossible.
4. Rather than giving up, try new things anyway, and work out the plan as you go along, within reason, and adjust as you go. What could possibly go wrong?

I've met new people, learnt more than ever (what I've written in this post doesn't even begin to cover the amount of material regarding Britain 1500-1700, which I was officially meant to be studying), and most importantly of all, I'm actually excited to go back. Ok, moving in will require effort, and I have a lot of prep work for next term to complete, and a mock-exam to revise for, but aside from that, I feel pretty sorted for the term ahead...