Result

So I have a confession.

I've been running from this blog for several weeks. 

By that I mean I've been avoiding it, because I knew that in my next post I'd have to mention graduation (after all, my time at university, and leading up to it has been a constant theme during the past four years of this blog!). It wasn't really graduation that I was dreading talking about, though of course, my family did manage to embarrass me in front of one of my tutors, and I did find parts of the day quite awkward and hard to get through. Why? Because how do I communicate to my family what the past three years in college have meant to me? How can I explain to them the life I lived, which, since leaving Oxford, no longer even makes sense to myself. 

Anyway, what I was really dreading was having to discuss my exam results. And yes, I do have to talk about them, because I've always written a quick comment about my results, through GCSE, AS-level, A-level and Prelims. Let's be real - studying is something I take seriously and for the past four years or so it has pretty much formed a major part of my life. 

Which is probably contributing to the slightly lost feeling I'm experiencing right now, with my job not starting until 5th August, and having literally no work to do, at all, for the first time since I can remember. I digress. 

I'll cut to the chase; after getting a Distinction in my first year exams I really, really, really wanted to get a First in my Finals exams. It didn't happen. 

In retrospect I realise that I was very lucky with my first-year result - I got an average of 68 or 69% and they rounded up, This year I finished with an average of 68% and they didn't. I got a 2:1. 

Graduation in the Sheldonian theatre, not my photo :P

I should start by saying that there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting a 2:1, it's a good mark and reflects many years of work etc. etc. However, I was especially disappointed as I had achieved a First in a couple of papers, and was 1 mark off a First in my Extended Essay, but was let down by two exams that got a low 2:1. That's the brutality of the Oxford system - you work solidly (as in, almost everyday for 3 years, including 'vacations') and do well in coursework, but ultimately your marks are determined by a week's worth of exams at the end of your third year. If you have a bad couple of days, it undermines a lot of the effort that you put in to the previous 75 tutorial essays.

So, this has been a slightly unpleasant learning experience for me. It has made me re-evaluate my past three years at university - my experiences do not resemble those of my friends at other universities at all - yet I have the same degree classification as many of them. I'm trying extremely hard not to be bitter about the people I know who (having also worked hard) got Firsts, either at Oxford or other universities. This is what it feels like to throw everything at the target, exhausting yourself in the process, and still miss. It hurts. Big time.

I'm getting there though. Several of my friends had exactly the same experience as me - missing the degree classification they wanted by just a couple of marks overall. We're setting ourselves new targets, and telling ourselves that after our first job, no one will care what marks we got anyway. Perhaps that's true.

I felt ill the night before my graduation. What if I was confronted by my tutor? (Everyone in my class had presumed I'd get a First...) What if my peers kept coming up to me and asking about my marks? Would we have to stand up in order of degree classification? Luckily my fears were largely unfounded, though I did have the bizarre experience of staying a hotel room located opposite my third-year room, which was unnerving. I could literally look into the window where I'd spent so many sleepless nights working, and where I'd returned distraught after a couple of disastrous exams...

After some reflection I've realised several important things;

a) Before I came to university I would have been perfectly happy with being told that I would get a 2:1, and do some fun extra-curriculars. I have achieved this,  
b) Before getting my Prelims results I would have been very content to get a high 2:1 overall in my degree.
c) At the end of third year, and even now, I am satisfied with the fact that I came out with a 2:1 and a vaguely sane mentality, rather than suffering any serious mental health problems, for the sake of, and in pursuit of a First.

Onwards and upwards. The liberating thing about being slightly disheartened by my degree classification is that it finally means, after years of schooling and formal education, that life is not just about grades. At moments I produced work that was worthy of a First, but at all times I conducted myself in a ridiculously efficient and studious manner. I completed hundreds of hours of volunteering during my degree, and I tried to consider the welfare of fellow Oxford students, particularly my friends. I rose above a lot of horrible situations and circumstances, and I never stopped trying.

If someone doesn't employ me with this attitude, then they have a heart of stone.

I will talk more about my new job in my next post as I'm aware of how lengthy this one is getting! Stay tuned, I promise the next post will be far more positive! :)

First post of 2015!

You're never too old for a birthday cake

 Ok, so I feel pretty bad that it's taken me until mid-March to post this year. I think that I always intended to post at some point in January, but then I was behind with coursework, hurried back to university, and literally didn't really stop until Friday when term ended and I handed in my undergraduate thesis! Time flew by, and last term was definitely the fastest term I've ever experienced here, probably because it was sandwiched by important deadlines. Unfortunately, that's a recurring motif in third year, you work towards each deadline, and before you know it, entire months have passed.

I'm especially guilty of looking back over terms and wondering what I did besides work. Luckily I've got my diary and a couple of photos to prove that I did leave my laptop/ the library, but it was genuinely quite a tough term. In eight weeks I did most of the primary research for, and wrote up twelve thousand words, as well as attending some classes for another paper and lectures. So exhausting that I still feel like I'm recovering from it, and the idea of starting revision for my finals exams is...well, overwhelming. I think making a timetable and just listing everything on paper, rather than in my head, will help.

Yesterday I started panicking about how much I had to do, and so instead of a to-do list for revision, I wrote a list of things I've already done; notes summarised, revision cards made, online resources created (I mainly use Quizlet, a free revision-card making website). It was reassuring actually, and I'd recommend it. Now to fill the gaps...

These cheered up my windowsill considerably 

 So my thesis undoubtedly took up the bulk of term, but I did take some time out to celebrate my 21st! My birthday was in the middle of term, which was kind of chaotic regarding work and having a progress meeting on my birthday itself, but it did mean that it gave me something to work towards and look back on fondly as my thesis deadline approached. It feels strange that this will probably be my last birthday here, considering I've been here for my previous two birthdays, and before that I had my 17th at the University of Cambridge as I was on the CUSU Shadowing scheme! Who knows where I'll be turning 22...

When I wasn't working on my thesis I was writing applications for internships and graduate schemes for this summer and beyond. This meant that there was a two week period where I was getting about six hours of sleep a night and spending about ten or eleven hours a day in front of my laptop. It was pretty grim. However, I maintain that it was a good use of time, even if so far I've only had one interview, and one straight out rejection. Rejections can be good, they remind us that we're not superhuman, we have to deal with disappointment in a productive way, and being rejected from one thing means I'll be more grateful when I eventually get something. Also, rejections narrow down my choices, as does the passing of time, so inevitably, I tell myself, I am working towards something, I just don't quite know what it is yet!

The last two years I've been very lucky in that I've had summer internships lined up by mid-March. This year I'm trying to teach myself a lesson in patience, and hope to receive some more news in the next few weeks. I think that I'm particularly keen to get something sorted for the summer because I'm aware that after June ends, I am done with university (for now, as I haven't applied to any Master's programmes) and so 'the real world' awaits. Or something like that. Alternatively, I think I should still be trying to focus on the next six months as a unit of time, rather than thinking that a single internship is going to determine my entire working life.

I guess this is the sort of thing that all final year university students struggle with. Finally I empathise. Dividing my time between applications, coursework and having a vague social life is hard, but I think I did the best that I could at the time. Now I've just got to see how it all pays off.

Exeter college chapel

The last few days of term were a welcome relief. I handed in my thesis and could enjoy doing non-work things completely guilt-free. I went to a concert (which took place in the chapel pictured above), drinks, and meals out without going over thesis edits and grammar corrections over and over again. I could at last talk to people about something which wasn't the subject of my thesis. It's made me consider just how 'free' I'll feel once my exams are over, but at the same time, I've now experienced that weird emptiness that comes with handing in a large, soul-consuming project. The last few days have been oddly difficult precisely because I don't know what to focus on now, my exams are months away and I'm finding it hard to concentrate on work again since term ended, and my mind, if not my body, still feels tired.

I know I'll find a way, eventually. I know that most final year university students feel like this at some point. Being bored and distracted is just as hard as being overwhelmed with things to do, and thus also distracted. In the same way, it's easy to forget about the long-term (e.g., in three months' time, my exams will have ended and I will have something planned for the summer). I've also become obsessed with checking my emails every half an hour in case there's any news. I think the next step is to set myself small, achievable, short-term goals, by day, by week, by month and then up until the end of this vacation.

Better get to it!

What She Did Next, April - June 2014

View from the Old Bodelian library, towards the Radcliffe Camera. Upper floor reading room, my favourite place to work, probably. 

I confess that I've stolen many of these photos (but not all of them!) from my Facebook. I just don't have that many good photos of Oxford, and in a city this beautiful, there's a limit to what you can physically photograph in a single term! I'll add captions as we go, and if I haven't stated that a particular photo is mine, then presume it isn't, and I won't try to take credit for it! 

Main quad of Teddy (St. Edmund) Hall, where I've had tutorials this term.

Oxford looks fantastic in the sunshine, it attracts tourists like a honey-trap. Literally, a sandstone-formed honey-trap. All that glistens is not gold, however...

Main quad facing medieval cottages, Worcester college.

It's strange. This term I had no exams, and being 2nd year, everyone told me that I was in for the summer of a lifetime, a blissful world of eternal sunshine compared to that of the Freshers doing Prelims, and certainly a world away from the furious work ethic of the Finalists. On the one hand, I blame myself for buying into the hype, but on the other, I'll admit that I was statistically unlucky, but also that some elements of the stress I experienced were my fault, due to the fact that I often internalise stuff, and get overwhelmed, probably too easily.

Towards main quad from Nuffield lawn, Worcester college. 

Work wasn't the problem. I mean, it wasn't great, but that was because of how much time my mind was wasting dwelling on other things. The main things being my upcoming trip to China, which still has a few vital necessities to be sorted (insurance, health forms, final arrival arrangements) and, more seriously, the fact that several of my friends became quite seriously mentally ill. I don't want to make the tone of this blog post overly dark, and I feel very much as though I've now "been there and got the t-shirt" as far as the past 6 weeks or so are concerned. It was difficult (and naturally a thousand times worse for them) but I hope, in the long run, that experiencing stuff like this at the age of 20, and learning from the experience, should equip me for scenarios of a similar nature that may well occur in my future.

Ultimately, isn't that what university is supposed to be about; not just the French Wars of Religion, or the Court of Henry VIII, it's about stress, knowing how to help others, and stay afloat yourself, and taking moments to yourself so that you have happy memories to return to when needed.

St. Hugh's college

That's enough about that for now. This isn't a blog about student mental health issues, I just thought that it was an important point to raise, rather than describing my university life falsely, through a montage of sunny landscapes and concise captions. Some things are beyond the lines.

Anyway, above is a photo of where I did one of the Easter Residentials that I worked on with part of the Widening Participation programmes at Oxford. It was a fantastic experience, I got to stay in a different college for a few days, see a different part of town, meet new Oxford Uni students and of course many more secondary school students from around Oxford, who were revising for their GCSEs. The Easter residentials I worked on were some of the highlights of my vacation, and I seriously think that working with other people, and thinking that you're making a positive impact on their life, is one of the greatest cures for personal anxieties and worries.

Corpus Christi college's Tortoise fair! This is actually my photo.

A great afternoon out, based on an old college tradition - tortoise racing! So glad I got to see this (well not actually see much, because look at the crowd and consider that I'm only 5"2...) because it's such an "Oxford" thing. My friends at home could hardly believe the event description! It was lovely to get out of college and explore somewhere new, and I even got to hold a tortoise - who wouldn't be pleased with that?

OxHoli, Hindu festival of colour, Merton sports field, by St. Catherine's college. This is my photo from a safe distance!

OxHoli. Coloured powder, meets cheap white clothing, and lots of water, usually fired out of plastic water guns, or (in the case of me and my friends) just mixed into the cups of powder to make a wonderful, rainbow-coloured sludge to chuck at people. Such amazing stress relief. Things got messy, so much so that my clothes from that day (including shoes) remain in a carrier bag under my bed...it also took 3 hair washes for my hair to feel normal again.

Oxford Botanical garden, sadly not my photo!

This place is my great escape. I feel slightly guilty when I slip off here by myself, but it really is a great place to be alone, if that doesn't sound weird (esp. if you're a fan of His Dark Materials). Plus if you're an Oxford student, you get in for free! Can't beat that smug feeling of sailing past lines of tourists...

Punting by Magdalen bridge! I've been punting here, but actually in a boat, so I didn't take this one either :P

Punting is great (you get wetter than you think, even if you're not paddling/ punting). I was consumed by exam fever last year and so didn't get to go. This year I saw sense and insisted that we did. Willows, ducklings, people doing bridge stunts. Singing in a round, and exploring abandoned furniture discarded on a river bank. It was pretty special.

Zoom the tortoise! Tortoise fair, my picture, (such good quality)  woop!

You know why I like tortoises? Because they're decades old, and they just get on with life. Stuff changes, but they change very little, or if they do, they're constantly adapting so they only appear the same. We could all learn from that. Also, the amount of salad that they eat is commendable.

Corpus Christi college, front quad, decorated for the fair, reminded me of the festival/ dance scene in Disney's Tangled

Another image, that of The History Boys in which one of the boys visits the college when called to Oxford for interview, thinking it to be the former college of his favourite teacher. I remember seeing that film for the first time 2 years ago, when I was caught in the terrible limbo between sitting my A2s and getting my results.

I feel as though this post has been sufficiently long enough to explain my absence, well, if you add the 9 essays and 1 presentation I also prepared in the last 8 weeks, as well as two trips to London to sort my Chinese visa. Let's not even count the number of lectures & classes on top of that.That's pretty much it, I can only hint at the rest, as is the nature of rambling blogs about life.

One regret of term - not getting to play croquet. Me and some friends were originally entered into a university-wide competition, but due to issues with equipment and scheduling matches, it never happened. Next year Oxford, next year I'll come prepared...

PS, a reminder, my sister's blog link is; http://i-like-to-be-in-america.blogspot.co.uk/ . She's currently in her 2nd or 3rd week of being an adventure camp counselor in New York state, U.S.A :)

What She Did, January - March 2014

The Radcliffe Camera, also the History Faculty library, and where I seem to spend a good deal of my waking life  in Oxford

The cameras, the books, the tourists. There's only one RadCam. There's even bicycles in the foreground, and if you look closely, my friends and I are standing in the doorway of the old entrance, dressed in our Midway costumes. Midway is the celebration held in Oxford college (sometimes called "Halfway hall") to remind you that you're now halfway through your degree. Time to start thinking about life in the Outside, and the future and stuff. Scary.

Actually, it's a really fun day, especially at my college where people make their own costumes and have photos taken in fancy dress as well as formal. In addition, you get a great meal in the evening - see below!

Everyone's favourite members of college...

College in spring is fantastic. It looks so much better than winter, it feels so much better than winter, and you don't have all the swarms of tourists that crowd into college from May/June time...

The cast of an Italian farce, "The Servant of Two Masters", performed by JCR students

Student drama! As well as Cuppers, the annual inter-collegiate drama competition, there are constant performances going on in Oxford colleges. Often low-budget (which means low ticket price!) student drama is ever enthusiastic and a great way to de-stress or just procrastinate.

I turned 20!

Halfway to forty. Or, just a bit closer to 21. Slightly unnerving, because in my mind, your 20s are when most people's lives start really taking shape. By thirty most people have had serious jobs, serious relationships, serious cars/ houses/ bills, serious everything. Seems I have a lot to look forward to.

BLUE PANCAKES!

Breaking Bad blue pancakes. The blue actually a rum glaze that had been used to ice the cake for a mutual friend, who'd just been awarded a Blue, an award given by Oxford and Cambridge to sportspeople who compete and win against each other in the annual Varsity competition. Tasted great, and so "Oxford"!

Escaping to Christchurch meadows

How I spend my sunny Sunday afternoons...

Great scenery, relaxed atmosphere. I'd finished practically all of my work for the term, and so decided that taking photos of the meadows and surrounding gardens was a worthy way to spend an afternoon out of college, and even (slightly) out of town. I love the fact that despite living less than 10 minutes from central Oxford, we can still walk to places as spectacular as this.

Midway Formal dinner!

As I said! Students are still in their fancy dress costumes from earlier, and we enjoyed a four course meal (there's a cheese and biscuit course after the dessert) with port at the end. Speeches are made, people are fined, and many photos are taken.

Varsity fencing, which takes places in the incredible setting of Examination Schools

Ok, so I'm cheating here, I didn't take this photo or watch the Varsity fencing. But this photo made me wish I did. Although most universities in the UK have a sporting rival (in fact, forget the UK, I think this is pretty universal) I'd say that Oxford vs. Cambridge is most epic. It's been going on for nearly 800 years (the Boat Race though, began in 1829) and students at both institutions are used to, and probably want to, be the best at everything. Plus, look at the backdrop for these sporting events, it's insane!

The term that was

Thought that I better get round to publishing this, this side of the New Year!

Ok, I'll admit, I'm lucky enough to live somewhere where everyday looks like the front of a postcard.

 

I love living somewhere where the seasons change. Where you can mark the passage of time in all of the things you see each day, trees, a lake, an orchard. Strange to think I'll never get last year back again, when it was my first term, and everything seemed so new, so exciting, but also so daunting. I don't miss that at all. Going back to college this year felt like going "home", rather than to some strange, exotic, unknowable place.

This is the face of a Pumpkin Champion. No joke, me and my friends actually won the college pumpkin-carving contest with him. For three days or so it glared out of our kitchen window, just to brighten people's nights.

Forget the fancy dinners, evenings out and Christmas parties. One of my favourite things about the last term has been living on a corridor with a kitchen (we didn't have kitchens in our first year!). It's made so much difference to the social-ness of my day. I think we all benefit from having breakfast together, even if the conversation means take twice as long as it does for us to prepare and eat the food!

 

How I thought last term would be...

So just to be clear, I thought this term might be slightly challenging. For once, this wasn't due to the work, but the fact that I was trying to balance a couple of time-consuming extra-curricular activities, AND eat, AND sleep. I suppose I also allocate a fair amount of time to seeing people...you can't live the life of a hermit-crab throughout your university years!

So I thought I knew what I was getting into. I'd even written the amount of hours that I expected each activity to take (per week) on a scrap of paper, just to check that it was physically possible.

I was wrong.

I guess in the end I forgot to factor in several important variables;

1. As term goes on you need more sleep to continue, fact.
2. Unexpected social events, e.g. Bonfire night, people's birthdays, charity events, pop up every week or so (ok, not Bonfire night, but the others, yes) and they are always very, very tempting.
3. You never quite get through your work as efficiently as you plan too... (I handed in 1 piece of work late this term, and all of the others were literally on their deadlines. I am writing this in public to shame myself into not doing that again...)
4. The good old "can you help me out" dilemma, in which people you know need "just a couple of hours" of your help in running an event, returning library books, buying the communal Christmas presents for the staff you work with etc. This always takes more time than expected, and you don't tend to think about these things in advance as they're beyond your control.

How last term actually felt...

 

Stuff I was trying to balance;

- work (ok, so we get set a lot of work. I try to work around 6 hours a day when I'm at uni)
- the obvious, eating, sleeping, social life
- being on the Student Council for my college (helping to run events, meetings both council-only and college-wide)
- being Student Union represent for the college (going to extra meetings outside of college, keeping up with university-wide elections)
- being a Sub-editor for one of the major student newspapers
- volunteering with a group of local school students, as part of the university's Access & Outreach programme

In addition, I also helped with Fresher's Week (see last post) and stayed behind a week after term officially ended, to help out with the candidates called to interview.

I mean, I don't regret any of it. University is the time to try new things, and learn stuff when they don't all work out. Plus, this is the advantage of 1st & 2nd year, if a single piece of work is late throughout the entire term, the world won't end (or if it does, it's a coincidence). I doubt I'll be doing Fresher's Week or the Interview period again (they're linked to the fact that I was elected to the Student Council for this year) but they were a fantastic opportunity to welcome new students into the College, and something very few students get to take part in.

In addition, I'm not doing the Sub-editing again next term, last term the editing deadline clashed with my essay deadline every week, and I felt my eyes turning physically square after reading all of the copy, then having to come home to my half-finished essay. This also resulted in some very late nights, and in all honesty I can't say that I've produced my best work this term, due to all of this extra stuff on the side-lines, competing for my attention.

Now I'm home and I can evaluate things, and appreciate all that I did, too. It's been great to get home and rest up a bit, when I was in college I was constantly running from one activity to the next, snacking as I went because I'd missed some of the conventional meal times. When I wasn't running I was trying desperately to cram work.

Yet, the stuff I did last term has added so much to my experience of life. I'm better at reading, editing, grammar-fixing, time organisation and being able to condense lengthy material. Not to mention, I have my name at the bottom of all of last term's newspapers, which is a bit of an ego-boost! Next term I think I'll aim to do a little bit less, and maybe a few more different things too. I think I might help out at some local museum events, because I loved my time working in the Navy Yard museum in D.C, and I'm living in a city which has to have the most museums outside of London, I'd say. Volunteering remains the most satisfying thing I do with my time outside of studying, and it'll probably always be that way, even if it's stressful at times.

My advice for all university students....

1. Try new things, outside of studying, could be useful for future, could just be for fun. Or potentially both...
2. Try and plan for these new activities, and see how many hours they'll take up a week, which nights are the most suitable etc.
3. Realise that trying to plan all of this stuff, and account for the unexpected, is impossible.
4. Rather than giving up, try new things anyway, and work out the plan as you go along, within reason, and adjust as you go. What could possibly go wrong?

I've met new people, learnt more than ever (what I've written in this post doesn't even begin to cover the amount of material regarding Britain 1500-1700, which I was officially meant to be studying), and most importantly of all, I'm actually excited to go back. Ok, moving in will require effort, and I have a lot of prep work for next term to complete, and a mock-exam to revise for, but aside from that, I feel pretty sorted for the term ahead...

Why helping at a college open day is actually a microcosm of modern life...

Main quad, view from cloisters. Worcester college, Oxford.

Working on college (as in, my college at university) open days is always a humbling experience. It reminds everyone of their own intial explorations in Oxford, of the wonder of the setting and surroundings, and that lingering feeling that their time in Oxford might only ever be confined to a dream.

I've worked on various open days this summer, for the History department and the college. 99% of people are enthusiastic, happy, excited and have a fantastic, if busy, day in Oxford. However, I'm going to do something that people in Oxford hate; I'm going to talk about the "1%".

The 1% are the tiny minority of people who make me uncomfortable on open days. Although I'll treat then identically to all other guests, as politeness dictates, something inside me feels uneasy. I'll answer their questions, laugh awkwardly at their jokes, and walk around with them as I do with the other 99% of people, who are, by comparison, sadly anonymous.

I think the worst behaviour I saw (and by this I refer to the conduct of grown adults) was the parents who spoke non-stop on behalf of their children, to which the children would object, but they'd continue nonetheless. I think some people may have even had the idea that I could influence the admissions process in some way (of course I can't, I'm a current student!) as they sought to remind me of the great qualities and abilities their children possessed. Some parents would directly compare the relative strengthes and weaknesses of their different children in front of student helpers. Some prospective students insisted that they didn't have to worry about interview preparation, as so many people from their school had already been accepted into Oxford in previous years.

I am describing this for no other reason than to point out that all of the above paragraph is completely ridiculous, which is why I'm going on about it here. Current students DO NOT take part in the admissions decision-making process. Extra-curricular activity IS NOT part of the application process to any Oxford college. Whether your father/grandfather went to Oxford, or if, in fact, no one in your family has ever been to any university before you (like me) IS NOT relevant to those making decisions regarding admissions. Frankly, student helpers on open days do not want to hear about it. It's not making you look any better than anyone else, and obviously the only person intimidated is yourself, otherwise why would you even bother listing your own achievements? (I sense an inferiority complex...)

By the way, when I say "1%" I don't just mean people from well-off backgrounds, or people who might come from a certain social demographic or part of the country. The "1%" in this sense is the name I'm giving to all those people who make a fool of themselves on open days, due to ignorance about the Oxford application process. Hopefully, through continuing Outreach & Access events, and general awareness (perhaps even promoted by this post?) people will soon realise that Oxford is a diverse and constantly changing place. What was true of the admissions process, even one generation ago, or 30 years ago, is not true now.

Rant over. Like I said, 99% of the people, families, students, teachers, I meet on open days are lovely, genuinely interested and sincere people. Another section of the 1% is the 1 or 2 students who clearly don't want to be at the open day in the first place, but have been heavily "encouraged" by their parents/ guardians/ teachers. If you're reading this, then please bear in mind that Oxford is a real place. It's not a fantasy dream world, which people might paint it to be, it's hard work to keep up with term-time assignments, though I'm not saying that they can't be rewarding to complete, and that I'm not counting down the days until 2nd year starts!

Seriously though - and this goes for all prospective university students at this time of year - make UCAS choices based on where YOU want to go, to do the course YOU want to do. In the long run, you can live with having to go to somewhere that you'll enjoy, and temporarily "disappoint" your parents. Your parents may not be as sad as you think to see you making some well-informed, independent decisions! Do this rather than trying to persevere for 3 years or more at an institution that doesn't suit your learning style or interests.

Persuading people that Worcester college could suit their interests is my job on open days. Well actually, my job is to give a realistic and accurate description of college life, and then it's up to the potential applicants to decide whether it'd suit them. However, 26 acres of college grounds, including a lake, an orchard and the lawn on which the first ever frisbee was supposed to have been thrown (what do you mean we can't prove it?) makes my job a lot easier. It also reminds me of why I'm so happy to live there, which can become obscured sometimes, especially mid-way through terms, by work and stress.

The open days were full of some really poignant moments for me (not to mention giving me the chance to catch up with people in my year who I hadn't seen for months!).

1. Some alumni were back for the annual Alumni weekend in Oxford. Whilst we were in the cloisters, handing out leaflets, course guides and the college prospectus I noticed two older men were skimming a copy of the 2013 prospectus. "It's all changed" said one man to the other. "Bet's it's tougher...", said the second man, "don't think I'd get in here now". Perhaps they were right.

    2. On the bus home I found that I was sitting next to another Oxford history student. Another  Oxford history student who'd also just finished helping at her own college open day. She's in the year above me. This was great, because it was like being able to speak to my future self, and ask for advice on module choices/ the general routine of second year. As everyone does in Oxford, we found mutual connections and experiences to talk about, and I slowly realised just how much serendipity was involved in this meeting. I was talking to someone who had gone to the same Grammar school as I was supposed to have, before I failed the 11+. At the time, failing that exam had honestly felt like the end of the world, but now, somehow, me and this former Grammar school student had ended up in the same place, at the same time. I guess that's testimony to the secondary school I attended, and the merits of individual effort over everything.

And I wasn't even supposed to be getting that bus...

Just another day, that I had the best day of my life.

Celebratory set!


I feel like I've been waiting my whole life to post this, honestly.

During the last week of June, I visited Oxford University, Wadham College, this piece is based on that experience (which I enjoyed throughly) which is a sort of thank-you to all the students who helped out on the open day, especially with my group.